Featured Slider

I told my boss

A few months back I transferred to a new store because I moved to a new place. Settling in again is always hard. After a few weeks there I wasn't settling in as well as I thought I would.   There was always content feedback and for someone with anxiety, that can make life particularly hard. I thought that my previous store would have forwarded all of my details, but I soon found out that my new store knew nothing of my mental health condition. 

On one particular shift, I had gotten to the point of not being able to take the feedback anymore. After my boss asking how I was doing and me putting on a brave face, I broke down there and then. Now, if you know me I never cry in front of people and I had no idea that this was going to happen either, but I just couldn't hold back the way I was feeling. I explained to my boss about my condition and thankfully my boss responded with positive action that she was going to talk to the other senior members of staff to change the way in which they approached me. Over the following weeks I was happy to feel more comfortable in my job, not necessary because of my mental health being out in the open, but because the way in which I was spoken to and approached was a lot more sensitive, which has helped a lot.

I haven't seemed to feel much 'radio silence' as it were, but I do feel that there is an elephant in the room. I feel as if people don't know how to bring it up or feel awkward in doing so. But funnily enough in talking to other members of staff, they have been very open with their mental health conditions. It never fails to surprise me that someone has a mental health condition because you never see it, so you never expect it even though it is so common. 

I am glad that I recognise that I am person, who deserves respect regardless of my mental health condition and that nothing is worth worsening my mental health for. 

Amy Xx

Another new job

If you've been reading for a long time you'll know that my biggest anxiety trigger is having a job, mainly because of the fear of failure and things not being in my control. But even though this is the case, after graduation I knew I needed to get at least a part time job whilst I figure out my next step. I took each hurdle step by step from applying, to organising interviews, to having interviews and finally the job itself, knowing that whatever I wanted to do after each step was on my own terms. I could either continue or not. 

After getting a degree, you'd like to think that getting a job would be made slightly easier, especially a low skilled part time job, but that is not the case! I applied for around 100 jobs and got only three interviews of only one was successful. It's disheartening, but I was proud of my achievement and one which I knew one day would take me places other than a stock-filling job and I held this close to me to make sure I wasn't knocked down by the experience. I surprised myself more than anything. Going to interviews provided me with some much needed experience and confidence. Tasks that challenge you usually always show you that you are stronger than you think and can handle what comes your way. 

Eventually I landed myself a part time job, which I was really nervous of on the first day and when all my prior anxiety symptoms related to school came about. But, I still forged ahead and the past is history! I've learnt that you're not expected to know everything on the first day and it's okay to get things wrong. And if you do get things wrong, then nothing happens! Everyone is human and no-one is perfect and guess what? You can handle it.

So, over the next few months I hope to stick at the job I'm in, even if it is somewhat tedious in order to make the next step to my dream career. It's mind over matter.

Amy Xx