Phobias don't last

I'm pretty sure every person in the world has a phobia of some sort, whether that be spiders, heights or dogs. Everyone has one and is scared of something. Even celebrities and highly powered people have their insecurities. 

Many people would accept that the fear of spiders is one which is very common and something which is widely accepted and understood. However; when you ask the person why they are scared of spiders, they probably won't have an answer. Okay, so the long legs and the fact that they run fast is part of its character, but if you look deeply into the phobia there really isn't an answer. This is something I want to address. Anxiety often comes with triggers and phobias and unfortunately for the phobias which are less common, people often believe that these phobias do not last or exist.

As I've mentioned previously, my biggest anxiety trigger is school and I have no clue why. I never ever had a serious problem with school until my breakdown in January. Unfortunately for me, it is the most important place in my life at the moment, as it holds the key to my education. 
This phobia makes my life hell as it is extremely severe. As school takes up 5 days of my life and ultimately the build up of Sunday, my life is very hard in terms of school. Everyday I wake up with dread, fear and adrenaline. Ultimately six out of the seven days of the week I get symptoms of anxiety, which often results in me eating little, being tired and feeling really ill. 
I absolutely love the subjects I am studying and conversing with my friends, but for some reason every day is an up hill struggle. However, each day I manage to go to school is an achievement and one step closer to recovery.

There is something else I want to address; not all phobias are short term! I will get periods of prolonged absence from school. Last year I missed about half of the school year and had to teach myself at home. However, if I manage the whole of this school week, it means I've been to school for almost three weeks in a row which is the most since January. This is a pure example that recovery does happen! However, many people have the assumption that phobias don't last. Just because I can get to school for a certain amount of time, doesn't mean that life is any easier or that my phobia has gone. This is not the case at all and unfortunately some people assume that this is true. Recovery is a gradual process and it does not happen over a few weeks, neither does getting over a phobia. However, I must reinforce the point that just because I am managing to work through my phobia, it doesn't mean that it is any easier or that it has disappeared.

Everyone's phobias are different and I understand how hard it can be. I hope that this post helped you in someway and made you realise you are not alone. Recovery can happen and I am an example of this. Do not give up. 

Amy xx