I'm drowning

Drowning is an all too familiar feeling, not of water but of the mind. When severe anxiety and depression battles turn into weeks and months, it can feel like there will never be a way out and there will never be any way of finding happiness again. Every time you try to swim to get air to breathe and you feel the relief, you are only to be pushed back under by a wave and soon enough you feel like you don't have the energy to stay afloat any more. My most recent episode of this was the depression I felt at the first few months of my second year at university and I just couldn't seem to get out of it. Time was the only thing that lifted it. I just felt myself dragging my body through everyday life and every time I tried to do something that might help, a tonne of bricks just fell onto my back. It becomes tiring when all you do is try to get out of the hole in the ground and try and make yourself better. It is so draining and exhausting.

After a long episode, I managed to get out of it. It just lifted gradually and I know for some this may not be the case. As some people like to put it 'it's like feeling the wind on your face for the first time'. And this is true. Slowly you feel yourself coming back and regaining happiness slowly. It may be a rocky start, but you get there eventually. 

As time has moved on, the shorter my episodes have tended to become and I'm hoping that you too can battle this also. You may be drowning, but remember you do have the strength to keep swimming.


To give something back to you, my supportive readers, I have decided to do a (small) giveaway here on my blog!

My giveaway is open to all UK residents. I've tried to make the prizes something that everybody wouldn't mind winning! There will be only one winner who will be picked at random. The full list of prizes with pictures will be revealed soon and will include:

  • A product from lush
  • A small 'happy' notebook
  • A mindfulness colouring book with colouring pencils
  • A range of prizes from 'Giftboxz'
(Other prizes may or may not be added!)

Mini smiley diary

To enter, you must (all links are clickable!):
Entries close on February 29th 2016. 

Good luck,
Amy Xx

Please note: I retain the right to change any aspect of this competition including any of the prizes :)

Creeping around the corner

Depression is disease, one which is unpredictable and that's not the worst of it, but is what I'm going to focus on now.

You could be having a fairly good day in regards to your mental health, but depression can slowly creep around the corner. You don't know when and may not know why. As each half an hour passes, the harder it is to swim, the heavier the bricks are getting and the darker the atmosphere is becoming. As time passes, you are aware of it's presence but try to do what you can to fight it off and to keep going, but sometimes the bricks can break your back and you can't swim any more. This is the depression that creeps. This is the depression that is unexpected. This is the depression that makes it difficult to lift the hair-dryer to dry your hair, or to turn your clothes the right way round to get dressed.

It can come as quickly as it goes and you can make it through. We cannot be scared and be stopped by what it throws at us, but we can battle it.