I'm drowning

Drowning is an all too familiar feeling, not of water but of the mind. When severe anxiety and depression battles turn into weeks and months, it can feel like there will never be a way out and there will never be any way of finding happiness again. Every time you try to swim to get air to breathe and you feel the relief, you are only to be pushed back under by a wave and soon enough you feel like you don't have the energy to stay afloat any more. My most recent episode of this was the depression I felt at the first few months of my second year at university and I just couldn't seem to get out of it. Time was the only thing that lifted it. I just felt myself dragging my body through everyday life and every time I tried to do something that might help, a tonne of bricks just fell onto my back. It becomes tiring when all you do is try to get out of the hole in the ground and try and make yourself better. It is so draining and exhausting.

After a long episode, I managed to get out of it. It just lifted gradually and I know for some this may not be the case. As some people like to put it 'it's like feeling the wind on your face for the first time'. And this is true. Slowly you feel yourself coming back and regaining happiness slowly. It may be a rocky start, but you get there eventually. 

As time has moved on, the shorter my episodes have tended to become and I'm hoping that you too can battle this also. You may be drowning, but remember you do have the strength to keep swimming.

Amy xx