Not another thought

How many times have you second guessed your actions? Not just once, but even hundreds of times? I know I have.

At the beginning of my mental illness journey, I second guessed everything I did. I spent hours thinking about what could happen to me. I always came to the conclusion that something bad was going to happen to me, which was drawn from my irrational thoughts and I know I'm not the only one who experiences this. It meant that I would have panic attacks when I tried to leave the house, catch a bus, go to school and so on. Any task was a challenge. 

If I compare this to now, I can automatically walk out of the front door and catch buses. All of those struggles I used to battle for hours before I could tackle them, are now a natural part of my life and hold little to no problem. I don't have a second thought about what if's and even if I do, I can control these thoughts. 

There are areas of my life which still do cause me panic and lots of thinking, which usually comes in the form of health anxiety or societies, for example and it is something that I am working on. Nevertheless, it's awfully strange to think that just a few years ago I spent hours debating whether or not I had the strength to walk out of the door and now it's such a natural process. I am proud of how far I have come and you should also be proud of yourself! Progress does happen, even if you feel it never will. One day, a struggle that once cut you up inside, will not even be a worry in your head. It's almost magical.

Amy Xx