My health in detail

I've written before about my severe struggle with health anxiety, but I have never gone into depth about it. As health anxiety is fairly common, sharing my story will hopefully help others.

I think my health anxiety journey began at the age of eight years old. I had to eat five pieces of fruit or veg a day without fail. If I didn't I would be in hysterics and this was only one of my problems that I dealt with on a daily basis. This kind of behaviour followed me throughout all of my school life and it's fair to say that it got worse when I had my breakdown when I was 17. I began to develop very ritualistic behaviour. I had to wash my hands all of the time, I never ate where my hands had touched the food, I would avoid certain food including meat, crisps and yoghurt with the worry I would get ill because it wasn't cooked enough, or I touched the food. I never ever cooked any meat or anything that would make me ill and therefore had a very limited diet. Sometimes, it has gotten to the point where I simply cannot eat or drink anything because of the fear I would get ill even if I know that it is completely irrational. I will always have intrusive thoughts when eating at a restaurant and will find it very hard to do so because the cooking is out of my control. Similarly these thoughts will occur if someone else has cooked something or even if I have cooked something myself, I sometimes won't touch it. When washing dishes or cleaning, I always have thoughts to make sure that everything is super clean and done in a certain way to avoid the transferring of germs. I rarely get thoughts of diagnosing myself of severe diseases or illnesses, but it can consume me sometimes. I have found myself to be going to the doctors in the past for blood tests and checks to make sure that there isn't anything wrong me. Similarly I went through a period of taking paracetamol on a daily basis to try and stop me becoming ill (even though I know this would never work) 

Every day, I try to beat and ignore the thoughts I have with my heath anxiety, even though it is extremely difficult. I have improved a lot since I was eight years old and since my breakdown and I try to overcome it daily so that someday it won't haunt me.

Keep going,
Amy Xx