25 things I've learnt at 25

Last month I turned 25...yikes! I think I've finally started to feel like I am stepping into the shoes of an adult rather than a child or a teenager and as a result I'm going to share with you some of what I have learnt over my years on this planet:

1. You have the same right to be on this planet as anyone else.

2. Always be yourself.

3. Don't let other people treat you like shit.

4. Anything can happen at any given time, anything.

5. Life rarely happens like you plan it out to be.

6. Your journey is not to be compared to others. It is not a competition.

7. We all have different starting points.

8. Love is all that matters, in what ever forms you wish that to be.

9. You can't take materialistic things with you when you die.

10. Spend more money and time on experiences.

11. Always strive for yours goals, no matter how many times you get knocked back.

12. You're not as fat as you perceive yourself to be.

13. Heartbreaks hurt, but you will get through it and it will teach you something positive.

14. Explore the world whilst you can!

15. If your gut is telling you something, it is usually right.

16. The brain is an extremely powerful organ and it can destroy you as well as make you.

17. Start saving at the earliest opportunity...adulting is expensive!

18. Take it step by step; the bigger picture will overwhelm you.

19. There's always going to be someone that doesn't like you.

20. There are always two sides to every story and someone may see you differently because of an untrue story.

21. We all make mistakes. Own up to them. Apologise if necessary.

22. Take time to yourself, own your own.

23. Always talk to someone. 

24. Always sleep on a decision before you make it.

25. Recognise toxicity. The sooner it's dealt with, the better you will feel.

I could write many more, but this is the list for now...

Lil' Steps Wellness Farm | AD

Animals, they are always that I gravitate towards during my down days. They bring a sense of calm and an overwhelming sense of happiness. 

Lil' Wellness Farm uses the idea of animals to help children and teens through their mental health struggles, by using them to assist with their therapy. If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you will know that first and foremost, therapy is something which I have put as my number one recommendation. Therapy is what can help you get to the route causes of your mental illness and struggles, to help and rewire your brain. For children, therapy can sometimes be something that seems quite formal and scary and so with the introduction of animals, it provides a much easier and calmer environment. Adults can also benefit from this too! I'm twenty-five now and would happily have this as part of my therapy routine.

The Farm is situated in St. Malo, MB and it offers a range of services and programmes to suit whatever issue you may be dealing with. Recently, the founder of the farm, Lucy has written a book to accompany the wellness treatments that are already offered. It is a book focused for children and teaches them how to handle worry and fear and how to deal with it appropriately. This makes it much less scary than seeing someone sitting in an armchair as they would traditionally experience! I know I would've loved it if my cartoon characters would've spoken about at the anxieties I was feeling as a young child. The book is titled 'Cindy and Cristabelle's Big Scare'. You can grab yourself a copy from the website which I have linked below.

Lucy is also expanding her experiences to create courses that will appear in schools based upon the book, as well as a parent and caregiver course which will help parents to understand how to look after their child if they are struggling. This is hugely important as I find it is often the negativity from parents and guardians that can really stunt the growth of a child when they are struggling. If we find that mental health is becoming something that may become part of a school syllabus, we will find happier and healthier children. 

Lucy has a history routed in psychology and counselling and has used this to help create a professional, fun and working environment that I wish I had access to during my trying times. 

If anything I have written is something that you would be interested in, alongside all of the other events and services the farm offers, head over to their website, here.

Understanding other's emotions

Believe it or not, we all can still find ourselves acting from a primitive side of our brain during most situations in our lives. When a car pulls out on us, we usually react in anger rather than thinking why the other person acted in such a way. This is known as a primitive reaction. Perhaps that person was late for an interview or had a medical emergency? That's not to say that their actions were correct, it's just a intellectual thought pattern that will change our unhelpful reaction at the time and one that we rarely consider.

I feel teenagers, my teenage self included, are a prime example of having emotional outbursts without thinking of the reasoning behind it first. I remember that I used to just argue and scream and shout anytime I felt attacked for my behaviour in the aim of defending it. However, that never ended well and I always ended being worse off. Perhaps the biggest issue was that I never did reflect and the problem didn't get solved at all.

If there's struggles in relationship or connection, it may be that we are misunderstanding the other person and what they are trying to portray. We can find that people seem to overreact about the tiniest thing and take their anger out upon us, and we have the tendency to bite right back, which is never going to help anyone. But before doing this, take a few seconds to try and examine why this person is acting the way they are. The kitchen might have a few crumbs on the worktop and yet you're now part of an argument as if you've broken their favourite and rare piece of pottery. Their reaction seems extreme and your reaction is to defend yourself because you don't want your character to be defamed for no apparent reason. However what you may find with reactions such as this, is that the person is really saying to you that they got a warning at work today, or their Mum is sick. Even as adults we can often find ourselves reverting back to our childhood behaviours when we are going through struggles. This is not to excuse their behaviour and should be told as such, but it may be a subtle cry for help. 

Sometimes when we are personally attacked, it may not be about you yourself, but may be about what the other person is struggling with. Never automatically assume this though and always see where you can improve before looking into the other person's emotional state. Every action that we undertake draws from all areas of life, some good experiences and some bad and we react and assume accordingly to what we have been taught. This is why when someone acts in a way that I wouldn't be deem to be correct or right, I usually take the time to sit back and see if there are any internal or external factors that would've caused them to act in that way before deciding how to react. You'll find your reactions and ways of coping will change dramatically when switching from primitive reactions to intellectual and logical ones.