On a dark day

It isn't always what you see when scrolling through posts on Instagram whilst eating your breakfast. It's not the media's warped version of being locked up in cords and chains and it's not bottles of orange tablets on the side of your kitchen counter.

It's the pain of your heart falling out of your chest, the struggle to get out of bed with weights on your feet and needing sticks for your eyes to keep them open. It's the struggle to chew and swallow every mouthful of porridge even though it's got your favourite syrup in it. It's the want to make the right decision, but being in so much turmoil on the inside that you can't see in front of your face.

It's the worry of being a burden on others and yet wanting someone to come and shake you to see if you're still alive and the thought of not taking another breath and yet wondering what your children would look like smiling back at you.

It's the questioning as to when things will get better, when staring back at you in the mirror is someone you can no longer recognise when writing yourself letters and running out of pages in your journal with all of the words that escape your head.

It's wondering how you're going to get through the next day, let alone the week when each step brings you more stress onto your shoulders. It's the pain of people leaving, tenfold.

It's the ship in the ocean with the waves crashing over the boat, the sea salt sticking to your skin and the water filling up the deck. It's the isolation in that sea that you're told keeps you safe. It's the big red brick walls which are built to heaven and back to keep you protected with the reinforced steel to stop people from getting close to you. It's the theft of sunshine and the country lines into the darkness. 

It's also the strength, the light and the truth. It's the big dark monster which has an achilles heel which only courage can contain. It's the untold story that people carry on their back when walking the mountain. It can be big, bold and beautiful. It is a test that never seems to end, but it has an attachment of achievement that is only known to those who live with it. It carries with it a hidden power, bigger than those who have never experienced it. In the end, it can be the smallest dot on the wall surrounded by colour. It can almost be invisible, it can be cured. Most of all as if I never knew, there is nothing stronger than someone mental illness has flowed through.

Grieving

Grief. A word that makes most of us shudder, either because it relates to the stress of work or sadly, the loss of someone we love. Mental health can be affected by so many different things and Grief is certainty one of them. I almost feel as if grief can have its own hold on you, somewhat different to your anxiety and depression that you can become used to.

I'm not just talking about grief in the traditional sense of the word, that someone has passed away but we can also feel this emotion for a range of difference situations too such as heartbreak or moving house. I think all of these involve a grieving process.

Supposedly there is a 5 step process to grieving, from denial to anger and to acceptance but that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone experiences grief in the same way or routinely every time it is experienced. I remember when I lost my Great Grandma when I had just begun primary school and I cried as soon as I found out the news. Later down the line I lost my other Great Grandmother and I didn't cry for a long time. This year I lost my Grandmother whom I was very close to. I think the first and last time I cried was at her funeral and only now 5 months on am I beginning to feel the pain of her loss. Some people may find that unusual but, it just shows how it can take hold in a variety of ways.

Experiencing heartbreak and loss of someone important in your life has taken hold of me in way depression couldn't in the past. I became lifeless and couldn't function at all. I didn't really cry, but I did find it extremely hard to get out of bed, even more so than perhaps some of my worst days of depression.

To me, grief can sometimes be a bigger beast than mental health on it's own because often becomes it's own unpredictable emotion, where as with my mental health I can usually predict the way it is going to turn out. The important thing is to allow yourself to grieve, it's normal and it's okay. It's also important to remember to look after yourself and your mental health at these times because it can often become overwhelming and debilitating to experience. Some may also be experiencing mental illness for the first time when they grieve, and that's okay. Look out for the signs and be that person that they can talk to.

What is Fizzbox? | AD

Being a social person has always meant that I love to organise big group events with friends and family. If you've been a reader for a long time, you'll also know that I have organised an event for my blog in the past as well as being the former president of my mental health society at university, where I had to plan events all time - I wish I had fizzbox to help me!

What is it? Fizzbox is a website which allows you to search for a wide range of events in your local area, all in one place. It's been made especially to help with organising big group events like birthdays and hen dos for example.

I began to plan an event for myself and my friends, using my closest main city of London through Fizzbox. To start, you simply choose your location and it takes you straight to a wide range of companies and events that you can choose from. You can arrange the list from price, popularity and activity type. Once you've chosen your event or experience, you simply choose the number of guests and it will give you the price and the opportunity to write a message to the company, if you have any questions to go along with your enquiry. If the business has the availability, then they will get back to you and you can pay straight through them either in full or with a small deposit. You can make an account to enquire, or sign up using facebook. I don't have a problem with this, as they need a way to contact you to get back to your enquiry!

Currently, fizzbox doesn't operate in every city in the country, but it does include some cities from abroad if you want to take your event that far away. In my opinion, it is very simple and straightforward compared to having to endlessly search the web for a range of businesses and then contacting the business individually or ringing them up. With this, you can simply enquire online in a few clicks and everything is in the same place. Each individual business also shows their reviews, so that allows you to have peace of mind as well. All in all it seems like a great service and I will definitely be using it to book future events. As the company grows, it will be able to reach more people across the UK too - so don't worry if your city isn't on the location list yet! You can use them to plan your next event, here!

How to get a first class honours degree

With degrees and their courses becoming more accessible, it seems now more than ever that every other person has a degree of some sort. However this is not to say that a degree is easy to achieve - it takes numerous hours of hard work, study, essays and exams to even get a qualification at the end. In 2017 I graduated with a first class honours Law degree after completing three years of intensive study at Swansea University. Amidst the blood, sweat and tears there were a few rules I stuck by to try and get the most from my course:

1. Set study time

Make sure that when it comes down to revision and essays that you have set times to study. I used to work for an hour at a time and then give myself a 20 minute break. You've got to find out what is best for you and also how many hours you can physically put into a day. When it got into third year I used to complete about 6 hours study a day to ensure I was ready for my exams.

2. Routine

As well as having a set time to study during the day, I found it useful to also get up at a reasonable time during the morning so I could make the most of my day when I had free time. I'd spend most of the morning and early afternoon revising and then give myself the afternoon and evening off. I'd also go to bed at a reasonable time so I could get at least 6 hours sleep.

3. work hard play hard.

Studying for your degree is important but almost just as important is giving yourself free time to relax and just enjoy the university experience. There is no point spending every free minute studying or else you'll end up missing out on socials, seeing friends and generally just doing the things that you enjoy. I found myself running a society, going clubbing and seeing my friends in my spare time. I always made sure I did both.

4. Getting those extra marks

Completing extra reading from resources that others may not have seen, writing out practice papers and timings and meeting up with your lecturers to ask questions on exam topics are all key ways of gaining extra marks to get to the next grade boundary.

5. Don't get left behind

Throughout my 3 years, I didn't go to every lecture. But if I didn't go to one, I made sure that it was recorded in some way so I didn't miss any key information. When I had the time or woke up after a night out, I wrote out all of the notes as if I was in the lecture. However, seminars were so important in my course so I made sure to not miss them to be on top of my learning.

Just remember, everyone has their own way of learning. I spent only a handful of hours in the library over my three years because I just didn't find it useful. You have to find your own solutions and work life balance in order to succeed. Comparing yourself to others in this situation is useless because you will have your own way of achieving.

How to fall asleep fast

Thanks to Brandon for the great post about sleep. I know it's something I'll be taking notice of over the next few months as I begin shift work:

Getting a good night sleep is crucial to proper brain function, as well as maintaining strong physical and mental health. Some people have no problem falling asleep, while the process is a little more difficult for others. If you are someone who struggles to fall asleep at night, you’re not alone. According to a new Consumer Reports survey of adults living in the U.S., over 27% claimed to experience trouble falling asleep or staying asleep most nights, and 68% struggled with sleep at least once per week - that’s an estimated 164 million adults! So, what can you do to help fall asleep faster? Here are a few things you can try to help speed up the process!

1. Lower the Thermostat

Your body temperature fluctuates as you transition into sleep. If your room is too warm, it could be affecting your ability to fall asleep. Try setting your thermostat to a temperature somewhere between 62–73°F. Everyone has their own preferences, so try to find the right temperature that works for you! As your body cools down, it can help send a signal to your brain to go to sleep.

2. Guided Sleep Meditation or Soothing Music

Studies have found that sedative music promotes deeper sleep. Guided meditation can also be very helpful in helping you transition into a state of sleep. Here is a link to a video that has helped over 6 million people fall asleep faster! Just listen with your eyes closed and you’ll be fast asleep before you know it. Give it a try!

3. Eliminate Distractions

You may unknowingly be struggling to fall asleep because you’re distracted. Browsing social media or keeping the TV on can make it significantly harder to fall asleep. This could be because your mind is stimulated by these distractions. When it’s time to sleep, make sure that you are in a quiet, comfortable place that is free from distraction. Doing so will help you fall asleep much faster.

4. Get on a Schedule

Many people find that setting a sleep schedule helps them fall asleep easier. Waking up and going to bed at the same time each day can help your internal clock keep a regular schedule. This will help your body know intuitively when it is time to go to bed and when it is time to wake up. When you’re setting your sleep schedule, plan for 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night and make sure you allot for the time it takes to fall asleep.

5. Take Sleep-Enhancing Supplements

Certain natural supplements can help you fall asleep faster. They have been shown to encourage sleep either by boosting the production of sleep-promoting hormones or by calming brain activity. Supplements that can help you fall asleep include

Magnesium which helps to activate the neurotransmitters responsible for sleep.

Melatonin which is a hormone naturally produced by the body, but can also be taken as a supplement to help regulate your sleep. Melatonin taken 30 minutes before bed can help to improve sleep quality in some cases.

GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid)which is a compound produced in the brain that inhibits certain transmitters and can help the central nervous system relax.

6. Try a Talk Therapy Session
Talk therapy can be a very effective approach to treating insomnia. Many times, insomnia is caused by underlying stress or anxiety which keeps an individual awake. People who suffer from lack of sleep or difficulties falling asleep worry about the impact that it will have on their functioning the next day. This thought pattern keeps people awake and becomes a repeating cycle every night. Talk therapy is effective because it addresses the root of the problem: why you can’t sleep. It turns out that it’s also been backed by science, studies show that a single talk therapy session helped 60% of those with short term insomnia sleep better and fall asleep 20 minutes more quickly.

Author Bio

Brandon Christensen is a passionate business leader and mental health advocate working to make talk therapy more accessible, and less intimidating. Brandon is the co-founder of Modern Therapy, a tele-mental health company. He has been featured as a keynote speaker on mental health topics at colleges like NYU and Columbia University. He holds a bachelor's degree in Business Administration from Ramapo College of New Jersey.

Website: www.moderntherapy.online
Instagram: @moderntherapyonline
Facebook: moderntherapyonline
Twitter: @_moderntherapy