With any disease or illness, trying to find the solution is always the hardest part.
A few years ago now, I was sent a book written by the lovely Chloe Brotheridge and I've finally finished it. It only took me a few days to read it from cover to cover because it's just so good! I just never found the time to sit down and read until recently...which is something that the book actually taught me - to take more time out for self care and stepping away from technology. So instead of reaching for my phone on lunch break, I went for this book.
For those of you wondering what this book is about, it's not like your traditional self help book, which I've never been able to get on with, but it takes a more realistic approach using other people's experiences, as well as her own to portray how anxiety is in daily life. I often found myself saying 'that's me!'. It almost felt like this book was speaking to me now and again.
As you move on through the book, there are loads of suggestions as to how to handle and overcome your anxiety and a lot of them incorporate aspects that I've have learnt from therapy and counselling, so it's good to reinforce that but also helpful for people who haven't had the opportunity to experience those methods to give it a go with the aid of the book. It's split up handily into different sections as to what anxiety can affect and how you can affect your own anxiety.
Out of all of the books I have read, I have found this one the most useful. As a side note, I didn't have to write this blog post about this book, but I just thought it was so good that I had to share it with other people. I also find that Chloe is a lovely person and the way she writes to her audience is realistic and takes an outsiders view, rather than being patronising and childish in the delivery which I have found with some books and counsellors in the past. I completely recommend you read it!
Recently I turned twenty-three and I can't believe how quickly time has passed - it has flown by in a blink of an eye. It seems that only yesterday I was sixteen and revising for my GCSE's at school. But with time passing I can't help be haunted by the thought that I'm wasting my seconds or that my life isn't as fulfilling as it should be. But it's important for me to remember that there is no 'should'. Social media infers that there is a certain way to live your life, with perfectly aesthetically placed food, or bright white beaches and somehow still having all the money in the world to achieve it. Every one is different and has different goals and achievements they wish to reach, but I still can't help but feel in competition with time as to how much I can physically do. Life on earth is short and just by sitting in my room after work watching TV I find myself asking whether I should be doing something extraordinary instead.
I feel we can get caught up in the busyness of life and we can sometime lose sight of what's important and what we want. It's impossible to fit every single thing we want to do into every day. And it's not easy to try and balance every aspect of your life into one perfect package either. If you want to reach something, then it takes a lot of willpower because often we can get swept up in every other small task or the tiredness that we feel.
At the same time of realising how fast time has gone, twenty-three is still young and many would say my life is only just beginning, but who's to say that life suddenly stops when you leave your twenties? It seems like such an odd phenomenon. Is it because beauty and athletic ability are the most sought after characteristics and when that is no longer something that comes naturally, we're put at the bottom of the pile? It seems strange because after all what others think of us shouldn't make a difference because they're not going to stop their lives just to impose on us. It may only have a negative effect on the person at the receiving end. Believe it or not, we are still living and breathing human beings no matter what the age and with that comes endless possibilities.
Being young is also a lot more challenging than I imagined as a child, and it's not a woe is me moment, because life can be hard no matter the age, mental health or ability. But I feel with being young, you learn a lot of things the hard way and that is why people say the older the wiser you become and perhaps it's true. At the same time every day is a school day - just when you're young it may be the first time you're experiencing something. There's still a lot of pressure to get it right the first time around because if you don't then are you wasting your time making the wrong decisions? But, through every decision ever made you've still seen the light of day afterwards and handled the outcome. It may have been hard, but you can't change it so you might as well grow with it.
Trying to make others happy and keeping yourself happy seems like a constant battle throughout life and something I have never struggled with until recently. Although it doesn't matter what people think, I don't feel that this is the main factor that's causing the struggle between self and person. I think as humans we all want to be attached and not be lonely and by spending a lot of my time in my own company recently, it's made me realise how we try to hang onto anything that will protect us. I often ask myself, is it so bad that by doing and saying what we want, that it will hurt others? I'm not sure that living a life for other people is the reason we were put on the planet. I'm sure we are here to help others, but in how much can we sacrifice ourselves for that? At any time, is it appropriate to be a people pleaser at the sacrifice of yourself, no matter how hard it gets? It's important to remember you're no longer a child having to waiver to every body else shapes and sizes. You're an adult and you can make choices that are right for you and how someone else receives it cannot always be controlled. But we can control what we do. We cannot have everything at once. We cannot have and hide at the same time, so sometimes doing the thing that is right for us, may also be letting parts of us down that we don't want to. But either you keep sacrificing yourself for others, or you simply do what's right and control the damage afterwards.
...so many questions at the age of twenty-three!
The Recovery Network, in cooperation with others, publish and share a range of resources on the topic of mental health. Below is a snippet on what is anxiety and an infographic of how family members can help. If you wish to access more information and support, you can reach them, here. They not only publish information but support charity events and support those recovering from addiction. All in all, they produce well rounded advice and support to help those who need it the most. Below are a few snippets of their work:
'Everyone experiences anxiety. It is a natural human emotion. However this feeling can grow out of proportion to life and its events. It can begin to disrupt everyday life. If anxiety feels like it is taking over, you may have an anxiety disorder. If you have an anxiety disorder, you aren’t alone. The American Psychiatric Association[1] (APA) shares, “Anxiety disorders are the most common of mental disorders and affect nearly 30 percent of adults at some point in their lives.” Many people face anxiety concerns. Many options exist for addressing this anxiety and moving forward in life. How you take these steps forward? Begin by understanding how anxiety affects your life. Look for anxiety disorder symptoms.' Read more, here.
And...remember, that recovery is possible.
'I’m slowly gaining self-esteem and finding myself! Recovery is absolutely wonderful! I hope, if you’ve read this far, my story inspired you in some way. Recovery is possible and you deserve love and happiness!' You can read more about Laurie's story, here and become a hero in recovery, here.
A few years ago now, I was sent a book written by the lovely Chloe Brotheridge and I've finally finished it. It only took me a few days to read it from cover to cover because it's just so good! I just never found the time to sit down and read until recently...which is something that the book actually taught me - to take more time out for self care and stepping away from technology. So instead of reaching for my phone on lunch break, I went for this book.
