Loneliness

Loneliness is something that we tend to associate with the elderly, but we all feel it. Physically, loneliness can happen at any age. We might find ourselves not making any friends at university, having just moved to a new town or too sick to go outside. More recently we might connect with this feeling during the midst of the covid pandemic.

The deep sinking feeling of loneliness can occur at any time. We might feel our heart fall out when we're in a crowd full of people, even if those people are our best friends and family and yet feeling like there is no one there at all. This is common to be familiar with and happens to all of us at some point in our lives. It's worth noting that although we may feel lonely, we are in fact very loved. Feelings are just that, feelings.


Physically, it's important to remember that being on your own isn't isolated to the age that you are, nor is it always something to be frowned upon. You can be lonely not matter where or whom you are. I'm twenty-four and I have been severely lonely at many points in my life. I have felt the pain of being in a new town, hours away from home and not knowing anyone or anything, trying to find my way across a new country or having no one to talk to in a hotel room at two in the morning. Our circumstances is what leads us to be lonely, nothing more and nothing less.

There is a key amongst all of this however. We must take this time to understand ourselves, and not attach ourselves to the nearest thing or person that provides us with a little bit of company and solitude. Our decisions need to be as calculated and understood as if we were surrounded by a hundred people. The struggle that we face as humans, is that most of us are born to have an emotional connection with at least another person and when we don't have that, we strive and accept anything that may give us something similar. The issue we then face, when we are in this vulnerable state, is that we accept behaviours that can be toxic to ourselves and our lives. A good stead and fast rule is to look and see whether, if we were in a loving and fulfilled environment, would we still accept and spend time with the person. The answer to that question may still be yes, however our actions may differ if we were in ordinary circumstances. Reviewing your actions and taking a step outside yourself to look at it, is still as important as understanding how to cope with the loneliness that you are facing. Desperate actions can be just as detrimental to your self as sustained unwanted loneliness.