Tips for social anxiety

Here are a few tips which I have used for social anxiety:

1. Behavioural experiments - I have done a few of these as part of my therapy sessions. Behavioural experiments are where you write down what you think will happen and what actually happens. For example, I had to do a behavioural experiment for asking for something in a shop and had to record what happened afterwards.

2. Start off small - Always work your way up through your fears of social anxiety; I guess this is a bit like CBT. For example, I used to always wear black, no jewellery or make up so no one would look at me. In order to overcome this, I would start off wearing a piece of jewellery for a week, then work my way to changing the colour of my clothes.

3. What if - often the "what if" is always present in our minds. For example, "What if I stutter when I'm on the phone?" "What happens if I panic?" "They'll think I'm stupid". You've got to remember, that very rarely do people react to this. In fact, my therapist did a survey and found out that if someone did stutter, they wouldn't think them to be stupid. Although it's extremely hard to stop the "what if", we all must try to do so. In reality, what you think will happen, will rarely happen.

4. Talking - One thing I've always encouraged you guys to do, is to talk. Please, if you find yourself struggling then talk to someone. Often, talking to someone about your social phobia will help you to think clearly. The person may even be willing to help you through the situations that give you social anxiety. Talking to someone with a different point of view, may be beneficial to you.

5. Plan - If you have a fear of talking on the phone or something else, you can make a plan of what you're going to say. In this way, you'll have a few sentences to pick from whilst you are talking, which will ultimately calm you down.

Best Wishes,

What is social anxiety?

According to the NHS website, social anxiety is defined as: 'a persistent fear about social situations and being around people'.

It could be said that many experience this type of anxiety in one form or another. However for the people who truly suffer from this disorder, it may severely consume their life to the extent that they may not be able to live their life. This social anxiety can come in different severities. For some, it will be extremely debilitating and for others, it will only affect certain aspects.

It can affect a range of areas in life and situations. For example: speaking in front of people, talking to strangers, speaking on the phone, avoiding eye contact, hating criticism, having low self esteem and so on. It can affect a range of things and there are definitely more aspects and situations than I've just mentioned. Sometimes, it can also lead to panic attacks, and I have written a post on this, here.

I'm writing about this as I have experienced social anxiety in one form or another. For me, it did and sometimes still does affect aspects of my life. I still struggle fairly severely with picking up the phone and talking to a stranger, I.e ordering something, or asking for information. Until recently, I used to hardly look people in the eye when speaking to them. It was even at the point where I would wear dark clothes and no make up in the hope that no one would look at me or would bring my attention to myself.

I know social anxiety can make life just that little bit more difficult, with you thinking about what people will think of you and it affecting the places you go and the people you meet. You're not alone; this is the most common type of anxiety disorder.

Mistaken Media (stigma)

For today's post, I'll be focusing on stigma again. Recently in class there are a few things about mental health which have come up and which I feel need addressing.

1. Schizophrenia - I feel I need to reiterate again, as it was mentioned in my ethics class, that the media portrayal of schizophrenia is not the true portrayal of the majority of those with the condition; it is not a horror movie. The campaign Time To Change addresses this in more detail, in this video. Rethink has also written a Q&A on dispelling the myths, here.

2. Medication - Many presume that those on medication are those with mental illnesses such as schizophrenia. However, there are many out there that are on medication for things such as anxiety and depression too. Medication can help a range of mental illnesses and it may surprize you how many people have been or are on medication to help with their condition.

3. Types - There are so many different types of mental illness out there, such as anxiety, depression, OCD, health anxiety, manic depression, GAD and so forth alongside those which are often portrayed in the media. Often anxiety is disregarded and sometimes depression is too. It's important to reiterate that all are mental illnesses. They all can require counselling, medication and other methods to improve. 

4. Stereotypes - Again, the media is painting a negative image of mental illness. Those who go to institutions are not thrown into the back of a van in a straight jacket never to be let out again. Firstly, there are many people that are going to school and work that have a mental illness. Secondly, those who go to mental institutions, are often there voluntarily and if not, aren't taken in a straight jacket. 

5. One in four of us - mental illness is common. 1/4 people in any one year will become mentally ill. Highly likely the person you're sat next to may have a mental illness that they aren't speaking about. Your friend could have a mental illness and you not even know. Don't forget to ask them how they are now and then; it all helps. People are very good at hiding it, but it can be just as destructive as a physical illness.

It appears that the media has a massive influence on the view we have on mental illness and this is why it is so great that there are campaigns such as that of Time To Change. The media often portrays blood, guts and gore and people in straight jackets. This is not the case. It's also important to remember that those with mental illnesses are more likely to victimised by violent crime than be violent themselves. Please, spread the word and dispel the myths; you'll even be fighting the stigma if you share this post.