Another way we can often deal with situations that might involve pain and trauma is through avoidance. We know how to physically avoid danger, but what about mentally? If we’ve been through something that was mentally tough, we’re not likely to want to experience it again and I feel the most complex situation we face with pain and addiction is when we involve love in its various forms. This is why I often feel people may avoid relationships, friendships and family relations after getting hurt or still not being over someone to avoid pain and to stop any addiction from occurring (after all, people say love is a drug!)
I can relate to this issue immensly. If you avoid any situation relating to pain then you can’t get hurt, but at the same you can’t enjoy everything it has to offer. As I’ve mentioned previously I believe this to have come from my childhood, but also more recent experiences and struggling to move forward. Even if you try to strike a compromise between the two then you may not get hurt as much, but you may not still experience everything to it’s fullest.
The best way to resolve the situation between pain and addiction is to understand why you are reacting in the way that you are. You need to identify the problem before looking at a solution. If the problem cannot be solved quickly, then it’s best to be black and white and explain to those around you what the status quo is for you. That way there will be less pressure on you to get led by something you’re not comfortable in doing. It’s a tricky ground to navigate when you don’t feel fully healed yourself, but it’s important to make it clear.
It’s important to also remember that addiction can become dangerous very quickly too, which is why you should review your actions on a regular basis and understand why you are addicted to a specific thing and whether it is good or bad. Actions can also be dangerous when dealing with pain because you may be more vulnerable than you would be otherwise. It’s important to deal with the problem head on, because once you have an addiction, it can be hard to get out of, whether that be drugs, alcohol, toxic friendships or relationships.
Take time to understand yourself. Inform others and although your actions might not be as clear as you’d like and you might make mistakes, you’ve laid the ground to work on yourself and given others the chance to understand and accept. Perhaps in time pain and addiction might not be such an issue due to progress you will make. In reality we can never really fully avoid it. It is all part of the the tapestry of life, it may just take time for you to work through it and that’s ok. No one person should rush you through it.
No comments