Prose

It hurts,
It just hurts,
And there's no other way to describe it anymore,
I'm too tired and can't think straight,
I just want to be at peace because years is a long time to be sad,
And pain is an awful familiarity.

But there can be lightbulb moments,
When a connection is strong,
And it doesn't matter how long.

I'm stuck in a world of anguish,
Where my energy is used on my breath,
And only the answers,
Can come from inside,
But I'm floating between black and white,
My feet never touching the ground.

I just hope that I can wake up,
Feeling a rush of dopamine,
Because its been a while,
When I've lost so much,
And opportunities are scarce when past becomes present.

In twenty years time will I still feel this way
Will I wonder what you're doing,
And where you'll be,
Will I have made a good decision
Or will I still feel dead to the world
with the memories alive

I wonder how it can be
And I thank you for meeting me
that I feel like I've known you all my life
because strangely it means the world
and stories haven't even been told

I'm lost,
and now you too,
My choices have power,
But I have little to give,
All I want is to be embraced,
And be told I will be ok.

Now is all I have
And I can change
And that presents strength
I hope you can do the same

Forgiveness is key
For complexity
And maybe one day I will sit to smell the flowers
With the biggest smile
And I too will bloom,
Apart,
Or alongside you.