Self-harm

This post may be triggering. Please do not continue reading if you feel it may be. 

According to selfharm.co.uk The phrase ‘self-harm’ is used to describe a wide range of behaviours. Self-harm is often understood to be a physical response to an emotional pain of some kind.' 

Self harm can often come in conjunction with a range mental illnesses, including depression. Although it may provide temporary relief, it's best to try to avoid it if possible because of the way you may feel afterwards - which is often worse. 

Self harming can come in a range of different ways and can be under the umbrella of self harm if it is done purposely. It is also possible for it to become addictive. 

I want you to know that it's nothing to be ashamed of. I know in public, it's something that many people hide by covering up their wrists and body or by staying inside. It's something people would never know about unless you saw it. But, never feel ashamed. You're not weak for self-harming because you are fighting through something so massive that you cannot hold onto the pain.

For some, there is a misunderstanding that it is about attention, and although this may be a very negligible amount, it seems almost incomprehensible that someone would want to harm themselves to such a painful and horrific extent, that it was just for attention. It's well known that it can be a symptom of a range of mental illnesses. 
You and I both know that it's a difficult issue to talk about, but it is so important to talk to someone because there is usually a route cause of the problem. It's easier said than done, but getting help is so important.

Stay strong. I know it's hard, but you can bounce back. 

Step by step

Sometimes people come to me for advice for their anxiety and depression. What I tend to say seems to follow a similar formula and step by step process. To help more of you, I thought I would share this guide with you. Please remember that I am not a doctor, and this is based upon my own experience.

A lot of the time, people who ask me for advice have never had any help for their illness and so I suggest the following:

• Talk - talking is key. A lot of people don't like to talk about their mental illness because they feel ashamed or because they don't want to burden their family and friends. I strongly advise people to talk because bottling things up will cause more damage than good. The people who support you in your everyday life, love you very much and will want to support you through your illness. Please try not to see it as a burden. If you found out that a friend or family member was ill and they didn't tell you, you would've wanted to know and wanted to help them. I know it's scary, but please try to talk through your problems. I know if I didn't, I wouldn't be here today.

• See you doctor - If people have never sought any professional advice before, I suggest that they see their doctor to get on the road to recovery. Your doctor will have access to services and can refer you if need be. I know it's scary to talk to your doctor, but it's very important to do so. Remember that not all doctors are trained in mental health and the first doctor you see may not understand. Don't give up, see another doctor to see if they will be more understanding. 

• Counselling - usually doctors will advise counselling as a first step. Here in the UK there is a long waiting list on the NHS, nevertheless it is important to sign up because the services they offer are really beneficial. You can also find other counselling services in your area, online. Counselling can allow you to get to the root of your problems and hopefully get you on your way to recovery.

• Lifestyle changes - I know lots of people recommend lifestyle changes, which I don't completely agree with. I feel that something simple as a lifestyle change cannot help people with mental illness and counselling and medication may be the way forward. However, little changes such as diet, exercise and yoga for example can all help in their own ways.

• Medication - medication for me was a final step. I had followed all of the steps I have just written and I was still severely depressed and anxious. I couldn't keep living the way I was. Although I didn't want to take medication in the first place, I am extremely happy I did because it has changed my life for the better. Your doctor will be able to help you with this and if at first the medication doesn't work, you can always try another.

Don't be ashamed. Be proud,

Amy Xx

Calming breathing techniques

One way to reduce your levels of anxiety is through breathing techniques. Here, I have listed various different breathing techniques that may help you. Choose the right ones for you!

• Exhaling longer - the simplest technique is to exhale for longer than you breathe in. For example If you breathe in for 5 seconds, exhale for 10. Repeat this until you feel a lot calmer. 

• The box - find something that is square or rectangle in nature and focus on it. Focus on one side at a time and scan the object in a clockwise manner. If you start at the side of the object, breathe in for the length of the side of the object, then exhale for the length of the top of the object and carry on for the other two sides, inhaling and exhaling in turns.

• Numbers - with this, you follow a pattern. Start by breathing for 1 and exhaling for 2, then inhaling for 2 and exhaling for 3, then inhaling for 3 and exhaling for 4 and so forth until you get to 10 and start over again. 

These are my top three techniques. Do you have any others you'd like to share?