Self-harm

This post may be triggering. Please do not continue reading if you feel it may be. 

According to selfharm.co.uk The phrase ‘self-harm’ is used to describe a wide range of behaviours. Self-harm is often understood to be a physical response to an emotional pain of some kind.' 

Self harm can often come in conjunction with a range mental illnesses, including depression. Although it may provide temporary relief, it's best to try to avoid it if possible because of the way you may feel afterwards - which is often worse. 

Self harming can come in a range of different ways and can be under the umbrella of self harm if it is done purposely. It is also possible for it to become addictive. 

I want you to know that it's nothing to be ashamed of. I know in public, it's something that many people hide by covering up their wrists and body or by staying inside. It's something people would never know about unless you saw it. But, never feel ashamed. You're not weak for self-harming because you are fighting through something so massive that you cannot hold onto the pain.

For some, there is a misunderstanding that it is about attention, and although this may be a very negligible amount, it seems almost incomprehensible that someone would want to harm themselves to such a painful and horrific extent, that it was just for attention. It's well known that it can be a symptom of a range of mental illnesses. 
You and I both know that it's a difficult issue to talk about, but it is so important to talk to someone because there is usually a route cause of the problem. It's easier said than done, but getting help is so important.

Stay strong. I know it's hard, but you can bounce back. 

I should?

I've always been hard on myself. My best has never been good enough and even when I had done something well, I never let myself revel in it for too long before I move on to what I think should be my next improvement. 

I found myself talking to my counsellor about this and I also wrote about this in a previous post, that I should be over a traumatic experience by now, I should have a paid job by now and the list could go on. I'm forever searching for ways to be better and although we should all strive to become better people, I find that it is becoming detrimental that I am never feeling that I am good enough or if I do well and I don't give myself a chance to celebrate. It was suggested that part of the reason for this may be because I don't like attention drawn to me, thus I tend to move on quickly from achievements. It's hard to dwell too much on what I've achieved and it's probably about time that I did. 

I feel that the more pressure we put on ourselves in regards to our lives and mental illnesses, the worse we are going to feel. There is no one else out there telling me what I should be doing and what I should overcome because I am on my own journey and I am not competing with others. We all have our individual qualities, and what we may think are aspects that we need to improve about ourselves, may be someone else's goal. It's important to give yourself credit for what you have achieved as mental illness is an extremely hard battle. It may take a lot of willpower to take the stress off of yourself and allow yourself to stretch out and accept the strength that you have - I know it will for me. I have been trying to be easier on myself for many years and although I have improved a bit, it is still really hard for me to let go of that niggling voice that is telling me to do more and to be better. But, it is possible to improve and I hope you can join me on this journey. 

Let's try to take some time to reflect on all of things we are proud of and all of things we have achieved. You may be surprised at how well you have done. 

Guest post: Marathon Marcus

Stigmas about depression push us back into the dark ages 

Let's look at some stigmas for people with depression:

Stigma 1: Looking sad or unkept shows that you are suffering. 

Truth 1: When in fact this is untrue you can use various defence mechanisms to disguise how you feel. Because of the shame of admitting to the illness, or at times lack of wanting to disclose the truth when asked, as if that will show you as weak. Some people with depression are very good at hiding it.

Stigma 2: Depression only comes about when something awful occurs.

Truth 2: Depression can be attributed to a number of different things, including biological imbalances, family history, hormones etc etc. Depression isn't only feeling sad for a short period of time, it can affect one's daily life for several months or years. It can feel mentally paralysing without treatment.  

Stigma 3: Attending talking therapy means that you are weak or crazy.

Truth 3: Attending talking therapy shows you acknowledge the challenge and your showing strength to manage it. Generally if  people have psychotherapy, people think your crazy. Whereas if you think about sports psychology or psychology courses used in corporate business that is somehow accepted as normal. Psychology however you brand it (life, work, sports) it allows you to look deeper into your problems and worries, and deal with troublesome habits, and better manage and recognise trigger points.

Stigma 4: People with depression are mentally weak.

Truth 4: It's said that when people commit suicide they generally don't leave suicide notes. Families and friends may know the person is struggling but are often left shocked that the pain experienced by their loved one is so extreme to end their life. People with depression can be very good at containing their illness, and not expressing the pain they truly feel for a number of reasons. If your not convinced have a read of the book Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong by Dr. Tim Cantopher 

Stigma 5: Depression is all in your head, there are no physical symptoms, it's not like having a broken leg.

Truth 5:

Physical symptoms include:

• Moving or speaking more slowly than usual 
• Overactive bladder syndrome. The need to pass urine frequently
• Change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased) constipation
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Lack of energy or lack of interest in sex (loss of libido)
• Changes to your menstrual cycle
• Disturbed sleep (for example, finding it hard to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning)
• Fight or flight. With all that adrenaline going round, it keeps you tense and it's not healthy to stay in a heightened state for a prolonged period (NHS 2016)

There are many other stigmas I could discuss but my point is that, depression is not imaginary. We all need to be conscious of it, and support those who we suspect are suffering with compassion rather than contempt.

How seriously do we treat illnesses like cancer? 

1 in 4 people will be affected by mental health. So let's look at the facts. In the UK the male suicide rate is the highest since 2001. The suicide rate among men aged 45-59, 25.1 per 100,000, is the highest for this group since 1981 (The Samaritans 2015).

The same way we take cancer seriously, is because people die from cancer and this is the same way we need to view depression which also takes lives. Even those who are alive it stops them from living.

There are lots of different treatments for mental health and your doctor is best placed to advise if your struggling.

But I believe that physical activity and connecting with others can help alongside other treatment.

Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication but without the side-effects, of course. In addition to relieving depression symptoms, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent people from relapsing. It also releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.

I've run 8 marathons and the benefits of physical exercise, have really helped in regards to the mental health challenges I've faced. And it is my goal to encourage other people in a similar situation to gain this benefit. And also witness other positive benefits of running in other aspects in their lives.

It's my goal to setup a running club, which focuses on well being, togetherness rather than egos and pb's. The running club is called Team Revenant. The word Revenant means someone who returns from a long absence, or a person or thing reborn. With depression it can bring people down, but I want to encourage people that there is a way back. Please help me break the stigma.

If your interested get in touch:

Email: themarathonmarcus@gmail.com

Twitter: @marathon_marcus

Instagram: @themarathonmarcus