Guest post: Marathon Marcus

Stigmas about depression push us back into the dark ages 

Let's look at some stigmas for people with depression:

Stigma 1: Looking sad or unkept shows that you are suffering. 

Truth 1: When in fact this is untrue you can use various defence mechanisms to disguise how you feel. Because of the shame of admitting to the illness, or at times lack of wanting to disclose the truth when asked, as if that will show you as weak. Some people with depression are very good at hiding it.

Stigma 2: Depression only comes about when something awful occurs.

Truth 2: Depression can be attributed to a number of different things, including biological imbalances, family history, hormones etc etc. Depression isn't only feeling sad for a short period of time, it can affect one's daily life for several months or years. It can feel mentally paralysing without treatment.  

Stigma 3: Attending talking therapy means that you are weak or crazy.

Truth 3: Attending talking therapy shows you acknowledge the challenge and your showing strength to manage it. Generally if  people have psychotherapy, people think your crazy. Whereas if you think about sports psychology or psychology courses used in corporate business that is somehow accepted as normal. Psychology however you brand it (life, work, sports) it allows you to look deeper into your problems and worries, and deal with troublesome habits, and better manage and recognise trigger points.

Stigma 4: People with depression are mentally weak.

Truth 4: It's said that when people commit suicide they generally don't leave suicide notes. Families and friends may know the person is struggling but are often left shocked that the pain experienced by their loved one is so extreme to end their life. People with depression can be very good at containing their illness, and not expressing the pain they truly feel for a number of reasons. If your not convinced have a read of the book Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong by Dr. Tim Cantopher 

Stigma 5: Depression is all in your head, there are no physical symptoms, it's not like having a broken leg.

Truth 5:

Physical symptoms include:

• Moving or speaking more slowly than usual 
• Overactive bladder syndrome. The need to pass urine frequently
• Change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased) constipation
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Lack of energy or lack of interest in sex (loss of libido)
• Changes to your menstrual cycle
• Disturbed sleep (for example, finding it hard to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning)
• Fight or flight. With all that adrenaline going round, it keeps you tense and it's not healthy to stay in a heightened state for a prolonged period (NHS 2016)

There are many other stigmas I could discuss but my point is that, depression is not imaginary. We all need to be conscious of it, and support those who we suspect are suffering with compassion rather than contempt.

How seriously do we treat illnesses like cancer? 

1 in 4 people will be affected by mental health. So let's look at the facts. In the UK the male suicide rate is the highest since 2001. The suicide rate among men aged 45-59, 25.1 per 100,000, is the highest for this group since 1981 (The Samaritans 2015).

The same way we take cancer seriously, is because people die from cancer and this is the same way we need to view depression which also takes lives. Even those who are alive it stops them from living.

There are lots of different treatments for mental health and your doctor is best placed to advise if your struggling.

But I believe that physical activity and connecting with others can help alongside other treatment.

Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication but without the side-effects, of course. In addition to relieving depression symptoms, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent people from relapsing. It also releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.

I've run 8 marathons and the benefits of physical exercise, have really helped in regards to the mental health challenges I've faced. And it is my goal to encourage other people in a similar situation to gain this benefit. And also witness other positive benefits of running in other aspects in their lives.

It's my goal to setup a running club, which focuses on well being, togetherness rather than egos and pb's. The running club is called Team Revenant. The word Revenant means someone who returns from a long absence, or a person or thing reborn. With depression it can bring people down, but I want to encourage people that there is a way back. Please help me break the stigma.

If your interested get in touch:

Email: themarathonmarcus@gmail.com

Twitter: @marathon_marcus

Instagram: @themarathonmarcus

My Buddy Box

I was so excited when I got contacted to review Blurt Foundation's Buddy Box. For those of you who don't know, Blurt Foundation is an organisation that is helping people through their mental illnesses, namely depression. Not too long along ago, they set up a monthly box which they send to their subscribers filled with a range of different things to help you through that month and continue to help you battle your struggles. I like to think that it's a hug in a box. Although it won't solve your mental illness, it certainly does help to have things that can help you through it. I'm really happy that such a service exists because I forever see boxes for beauty, but I have never seen one dedicated to those who are affected by depression. I can't wait to try all of the items included and see how they help me along my way. 

This month's box included a notebook and pencil, some tea, some seaweed for the bath, some postcards and an origami set. I will certainly be using the notebook and pencil as I am always writing, as for the seaweed I find having baths as a great way to reduce anxiety and so I will try it next time round. Tea is also another calming method I use - I always find it it to be a cuddle in a cup. However, I've never tried this flavour so it will be all new to me. And finally, I used to do origami when I was younger, but I gave it up. I never seem to do many things that are creative these days so perhaps this is a sign to get back into something like this. It's also a great way to take a step back from the day and have some time not think about the world around you. 

I am really impressed with this box and I think it will help many people. If you're interested in becoming a subscriber or wish to get a box for someone you love, then click, here.

Thanks again,

Journey of depression

Unlike some people, my depression came about as a result of my severe anxiety that I faced. However, I would say that my suicidal thoughts and depression were felt as young as the age of 15, before my anxiety even became such a detrimental problem. At the time, I didn't tend to pay much attention, I just knew that I was in a very dark place at times. Luckily, these were far and few between until my breakdown at the age of 17.

As soon as my anxiety became so severe that I couldn't leave the house, my depression crept in and took over my whole being and there was nothing I could do about it. Everything in my life was taken away by my anxiety including school, friends, driving, picking up the phone, answering the door and even walking to the end of my road. I couldn't do anything and to be stuck inside and incapable of doing anything triggered my depression to a severe extent.

It's difficult to describe what depression is if you haven't experienced it yourself, but I have tried my best to summarize it, here. 

It was when the sky was blue and yet everything was dark. For me, it meant not caring for my appearance, always wearing black, having sleeping troubles, always feeling tired, having no motivation to do anything I loved (not that I had much ability to do that anyway!), loss of weight, endless crying, hysterics, not being able to get out of bed, loss of control, suicidal thoughts and some self harm. I was in a very troubled and dangerous place for my existence. The depression and mental health struggles I faced were absolute hell, and I was often pulled between the pillars of life and death on a regular basis. Keeping going was an immense struggle. However, I am glad I did.

I remember days and days where I wouldn't be interested in anything and I would just sleep to get some rest bite. I also remember times when my counselor had to come to my home because I was in such a terrible depressive state that I couldn't get outside. I must admit I hated filling in the depression and suicidal forms when I felt in such a bad way. But, I know they were there to look after me, along side my family, friends and teachers and I thank them greatly. 

Nowadays, as my anxiety has reduced and I am on medication, my depressive episodes are few and far between. However, I can find depression creeping up on me randomly and for no reason at all. Unfortunately, depression runs in the family and this is something that I continue to battle.

For those of you who know what depression is like, you'll know exactly what I have and can go through and for those of you that haven't, I hope you never ever have to, but please still educate yourself on this matter. For all of those fighting the immense struggle, please keep going. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I was once in your position and now I am well on my way to recovery. I know you can do it too. Trust me on this!

Keep going - life can be beautiful.

Perfection

We are always told that no one is perfect, and this is true. But, it's hard to believe when you end up comparing yourself with someone else who seems to have everything going for them. But, it's important to remind yourself that you are "comparing your behind the scenes with everyone else's show reel." Even though I know perfection doesn't exist, I still strive for it. This can be both good and bad and in theory I should achieve better outcomes, but it's always more detrimental to my mental health. 

I found that the day I moved to university, my happiness had reached a new level. And as time moves on, I begin to experience happiness; something which I haven't experienced in many, many years and it's the most wonderful feeling. Currently, I still feel blessed and I can honestly say I am happy. Even though my happiness is tainted sometimes and my mental health can be a struggle; something, which I expected and what I am struggling with currently.

I know that just because we change or try something new, doesn't mean that our mental health and other issues aren't going to follow us. But, it's hard to remind ourselves of that. I've found that experiencing happiness that I have missed for so long, hurts when it gets tainted and I end up losing my balance with my mental health. Questions whir around my head about others and I get scared, because I've been in the darkest depths and there is no way in hell, that I ever want to go back. But, you and I both must remind ourselves of this;

Everybody in life has their own journey and we are all different. What we see on the outside, is never what's going on the inside. Recovery is about progress, and when we have times when we wobble and our mental illness comes back to haunt us; we worry. We are scared that we will never escape. But, it's important to hold on and remember how far you've come. Only a couple of years ago, I couldn't leave the house and now I am living independently. We all have our achievements. And yes, I have questions as to why has this happened to me?, why do I have to do a double take on every action?, why is it me? It angers me so much, but as much as that can trouble me, this is it. This is me. And I find that I now have a greater depth of the world as a result. I find that, just because we wobble doesn't mean we are going to go back. Each relapse, makes you stronger. And even though you question, how many times can I come out of this alive? And as tired as you are, as much as you feel things aren't perfect, and as much as you feel things are slipping; no one is happy all of the time. But, perhaps you hold onto happiness more tightly than others, because you know that pain can be around the corner. But, as unfair as it is, you are strong and capable to get through it and taking time out is okay, because sometimes, it can all get too much. You've done it before and you can do it again.

Remember, no one is perfect.

Best Wishes,

A journey of depression

Hello, my name is Callum. I'm 19 years old and I experienced my first mental health issue about 18 months ago. I remember it like a light switch in my head. In my younger years, I was confident and regularly participated in social events with friends, got up on stage and was vocal in school classes. Looking back on this part of my life now, it scares me to see how much I've changed. Before I was carefree and now I struggle to talk to new people.

It began in October 2013. I was 17 and was attending a big party, which the whole year of my sixth form was invited to and this might sound cliché but my first instance of depression was triggered by unrequited love; my interest in her was essentially laughed off. I returned home from this party, ended up vomiting and then after a terrible night's sleep I woke up, wishing that I hadn't. I suppose at first I was hoping this was just a phase but these feelings ensued for months. Sixth form was becoming a struggle every day and I'd escape into my own world, headphones plugged in, playing my music so loudly that I couldn't hear what people had to say. I think it was fairly noticeable that I wasn't doing well, but one thing I can say is that these few months really showed me who my friends are.

The Christmas holidays came around and I was still struggling. I often questioned my existence and it was the first time that I self-harmed, punching a wall until I bled. I already wanted to escape Sixth Form, however following a slight public humiliation after continuing to pursue this girl I liked, my depression got worse. Over the holidays alone I lost around tow stone from not eating and had barely said a word to anyone. During this period I was regularly asked by my parents if anything was up, to which I replied with "no everything's fine". My parents had a lot on their plate and I felt that they didn't need my problems. That might sound absurd, but I felt as if I didn't matter to anyone, family included.

In A-levels there was a lot of pressure on exams; an area in which "Old Callum" used to excel. That was certainly not the case come April 2014. With the continued depression and bottling up of emotions teamed with the stress of exams, I broke down. I had my first anxiety attack and it felt horrendous. I was about 10 minutes from school when I turned to my mum and told her I couldn't go in. She seemed a little confused, but I really couldn't go further. After taking me home I sat on the floor of my room and cried listening to music for a few hours. After a few days away from school with anxiety, my Dad dragged me in and I was referred to counselling. It was really useful for this particular time in my life; someone to talk to was what I needed and after a couple of months things were starting to look up. Although I still felt down, there was no more self harm and I was coping with my stress and anxiety levels better than before.

After exams and a summer of ups and downs of equal measure, I embarked on university life. It was a mix of emotions for me. I couldn't wait to leave home, a place I associated with depression but I was scared to meet new people and socialising, especially given that I'm not much of a drinker! I was wrong. Although I was practically silent for the meet and greet event in my accommodation block, I came away with 3 fantastic friends, who I will get the pleasure of living with next year.

Finally, things were getting better. I was enjoying my course, I met amazing people and I was in an exciting new city far away from home. The only problem I faced was that I was still feeling depressed. I couldn't understand why and this drove me to become really angry at myself. It had been a year since I started feeling this way and despite everything being right, I still felt wrong. Although I was grateful that I finally had a friend to talk to who had similar experiences and without whom I'm not sure I could have made it through university.

After another bad winter break and the largest mental breakdown I've suffered to date, I realised something needed to be sorted out. A talk with my friends led me to the GP, after which I got prescribed medication. Afterwards, I called my family and explained what had happened. I wish I had done it sooner as even my dad, who I did not always get on with, was compassionate and understanding. Needless to say my family relationship has improved since.

I'm just shy of a month into my course of medication and despite a few early hiccups things are starting to improve with a few days of clarity, something I haven't felt since the beginning of it all.

I hope my journey has helped you know that you're not alone and I think if I can take anything away from this, it would be to trust those close to you with your mental health issues. Chances are, they will be there for you and a problem shared is a problem halved. I know that it can be tough, but stick at it, it will get better.

Callum.

Losing yourself

Out the whole mental health journey, I've found losing myself as the hardest part. I am no longer the person that I was because my mental health slowly deteriorated and took away the girl I once was, and this holds a pain that is almost unbearable.

I used to be seen as a bright and hard working student. The 'perfect' student who was always doing well and reaped the rewards from her hard work. But as my anxiety got hold, the grades began to drop and people no longer saw me as this "Mary Poppins". The very thing I took pride in was my education and it was slipping through my hands. As I began to lose my education, I began to lose any lust for life. I stopped driving lessons, seeing my friends and even leaving the house. I was always a person that loved going out and exploring new things, but the worse I got, the harder it became to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. As a child, I was always told that I woke up with a big smile on my face. I always laughed and enjoyed myself. But as depression set in, I couldn't laugh anymore, I couldn't smile and I couldn't see any positivity. I was no longer the smiling and optimistic girl.

Even though it pains me to think about this, looking at this from a stronger standpoint has made me review myself as someone that is in reconstruction. Perhaps, this had to happen for me to come out of my shell and to experience new things. I may never be that person again, but I am slowly improving and I think it's for the better. I am proud and almost somewhat accepting of my journey. I know without the tackling of my anxiety, I would still be the Old Amy, stuck inside her comfort zone and now, I am in a much better place. Even though it is really difficult to tackle the things that scare me and the journey has been hell on earth, I am experiencing and enjoying life like never before, and I know without my anxiety journey, I would still be stuck.

Perhaps, after years of losing myself, I am finally finding myself again; a new version of myself too. 

For anyone else who feels lost, it's important to remember that this is a journey that is making you stronger. You are in it now and rather than anxiety robbing you from what you have, you are beating it with all that you have and you are becoming better from it. I know it's hard, almost undesirably hard. But you can do it.

Best Wishes,

My year in review 2014

I don't know how I can begin to comprehend the journey that has been this year. If you've been following my blog, you'll know that last year was "hell in more ways than one." You can read more about 2013, here.

Although the year had a rocky start, with my worst depressive episode, it was immensely better than 2013. Anxiety was still a big problem in terms of school, but by beginning a course of medication, life became so much easier. I began to tackle the things that scared me the most. I was definitely pinned to the post between life and death, but I can happily say that this year has been one of the best in a long time, and for that I am forever grateful. 

I don't think you can truly experience the beauty that life holds, unless you have been to the darkest depths. This year, I have felt the fresh air like never before and held on to moments with every last grip. In a way, I can experience life at a new level. This year, instead of having limited positive experiences to talk about, I have too many to list; from getting into university (I have to say, I am having the time of my life), meeting my idol for the second time, being discharged from therapy, conquering some of my anxiety triggers, concerts, travelling; the list could go on.

Never did I think that I would experience happiness again, and even though I still have my bad days, and although I know haven't gotten over my anxiety completely, my life is a world away from the last year. It's almost incomprehensible. Once I was on the tightrope between life and death and now I am living independently and discovering happiness once more. I cannot thank my family, friends and teachers enough, as without them I don't know where I'd be. And of course you, the readers of my blog have been super supportive and for that I thank you. I wrote in last years', year in review that I hoped that the next year would be more of a dream than a nightmare, and my hopes have become a reality. At the beginning of 2013, I couldn't leave the house. And now, at the end of 2014, I am living independently. I never thought it possible, but life is full of twists and turns. You can do it. 

When people ask me what my greatest achievement is out of this continuing process, I have to think. But, my answer always remains the same. "surviving" I say. "Because I never thought I'd see the day." 

Best Wishes,

19 things I've learnt

Since recently turning 19, I thought it would be a good idea to write down 19 things I've learnt in the 19 years that I've been alive. Perhaps this will act as a bit of memoir to my younger self and to others.

1. Always be yourself. It sounds so cliche but there isn't anything more true. Yes, you may get stick for it, but persevere. It's definitely worth the time. Don't worry about what others think of you.

2. Don't give in to peer pressure. I know it can be extremely hard. But, at the end of the day you will be doing what you want to do with your life instead of spending it living other peoples'. Anyway, a friend isn't a friend if they're making you do things you don't want to do.

3. Family is extremely important. Always make time for them.

4. Some friends will come and go, but there will be those special few that you must hold on to.

5. Love can be beautiful, but it may not last. Don't let it consume you to the point that you cut out everything else in your life. You'll regret it later.

6. Education is the basis of all things. Work hard and you will reap the rewards. I know you may not want to do that homework or revise for the test, but I promise in the end it will pay off. And whether you like it or not, teachers will impact on you for the rest of your days.

7. On the other hand, don't let school consume you. Unfortunately, the government puts a lot of pressure on schools and thus on pupils to do well. Try not become too overwhelmed. Remember your goals and you are your own person.

8. Life can be magical. Sometimes things can happen, which you would never have thought possible. It's beyond comprehension; embrace it.

9. Money isn't everything. Yes you need it to survive, but one day you might get told you only have so much life to live. You'd wish you'd spent it enjoying yourself, being with the ones you love and lessening it's importance, rather than waiting for a rainy day you may now never reach.

10. Be nice to people. You don't know what they're going through. Don't create unnecessary drama, but stand up for what you believe in. 

11. The most toxic thing you can do is to compare yourself to others. It's difficult not to, but in the end "the race is only with yourself". It's your life to lead.

12. The darkest and hardest of times make you appreciate life when you come out of the other side. You are stronger than you think.

13. Give yourself credit. Be proud of your achievements.

14. There are heaters and drains in this world. Don't waste your time hanging around people who are toxic. There are only so many chances you can give.

15. Worrying doesn't improve things in any way. It only makes things worse. The things you worry about the most, highly likely won't even happen.

16. Remember to take a step back now and then. Remember the pillar between life and death.

17. Nature is amazing. Observe it and experience it as much as you can.

18. Time is not a limitless supply.

19. It's true you don't know what you've got until it's gone; cherish every moment. In the end, being surrounded by the people you love and the memories they hold, is the only importance. 

Jon's confidence

Guest blog post from Jon.

How to build confidence when you feel like you don´t have any!

We all want to have an inner sense of confidence, and to live life carefree without any doubts. The problem with anxiety sufferers is that at times we can be full of doubts. So how do you turn things around and start to develop a strong sense of self-assurance?

Learn how to deal with yourself, not the situation
First of all you need to take practical steps in learning how to deal with yourself. In facing situations you find difficult. You can´t wait for confidence or you´ll be waiting forever. So take a deep breath and step outside your comfort zome. Willingly put yourself into situations you try to avoid. Speak up! Accept that you will feel nervous but don´t fight it, just go with it. Act in spite of how you feel. This is the key!

There´s no magic bullet in building confidence. You need to prove your doubts wrong. And then to prove them wrong again and again! By facing situations that make you feel anxious over and over again you will develop that voice inside you that says ¨I can do it!¨

Constantly remember past success
To help this voice grow you need to take note of such moments where you faced your difficulties and overcame them. To do this I recommend you keep a journal. At the end of each day write down the difficult moments you faced and how you dealt with yourself successfully. Also review your past successes daily. This will reinforce an attitude of confidence. Also in your quiet moments such as waiting for the bus you can reflect on your past successes. Remember how good it felt to come through the other side despite how you felt and give yourself a big pat on the back.

And then next time when you are going into a moment you usually find difficult take a moment to think of some of your previous successes and bask in your glory. Really appreciate how great you have done! And then you can go forward into the situation with an inner confidence that you are becoming a stronger person.

Make lists
Another thing which will helps reinforce, and build your confidence and self.esteem is writing down positive thngs about yourself. I recommend making lists of your positive attributes, past achievements, compliments people have given you, and things you´re good at. And then reviewing these lists daily. This will get you into the habit of seeing yourself in a positive light, of seeing yourself as a confident person who holds themself in high-esteem.

These things actually happened. So whenever you are feeling down, and need a little pick me up, you can remember your past successes, or something from your list and you will instantly feel better.

It´s a marathon not a sprint
Becoming a confident person takes time and commitment. By keeping a journal and lists and reviewing them daily, little by little you will transform. And before you know it you won´t even have to think about it anymore, you will just be a confident person. You´ll feel great with an deep sense of satisfaction of having grown into the confident person you deserve to be.

This all takes work. But it´s more than worth it. Seeing yourself change into a more confident, self-assured person is a great feeling. The act of taking control and becoming like this through your own effort is deeply satisfying, and gives you more confidence to go into the future with more enthusiasm. So, don´t wait any longer. Start facing difficult situations, focus on the positive, remember your successes, and start being the confident person you really are!

http://manotomano.com/

Just say yes

Generally speaking, saying yes provides more opportunity and better experiences because you're doing something you don't usually do.

Of course the typical difficulty that you and I face, is that sometimes saying yes brings overwhelming fear which means we cannot physically do it, or we may face panic attacks and other struggles.

But, you can do it! By saying yes, you will be undertaking exposure which is what many therapists ask you to do to reduce your anxiety. For example, by saying yes to catching a bus, you are exposing yourself to the situation and ultimately reducing your anxiety in the long run. The more you do it, the less your anxiety until you no longer have it. For example, I can now leave the house, catch buses and ask for things with practically no anxiety. But, there once was a time when I couldn't even walk towards the door.

Do you want to go clubbing?, travelling?, do you want to go to a party? All of these things would provide anxiety for me, but you have to leave it behind as it will. By doing these things, you'd probably have a good time despite your haunting thoughts. You have to try and go with your gut feeling and take a change. Perhaps try and set a goal and say you'll say yes for a few days. See how you feel, even if it may cause anxiety beforehand. I guarantee, that the things you've wanted to do, but have been scared to say yes to, will be fine. 

Of course there are priorities, and you may not be in your stage of recovery where you feel comfortable. I have to say this was the biggest thing stopping me. When my anxiety was quite severe I didn't feel anywhere near ready to be doing the things I am doing now. So, it's totally understandable if you can't say yes to everything right now. Don't beat yourself up about it, I can totally sympathise and understand that mindset. My anxiety still stops me from saying yes to things now, but as time is moving on for me, the more things I am able to say yes to, and I only feel this way because of the stage I am at. It does take time to train your brain to battle the doubting thoughts, so try to be patient and keep going!

Best Wishes,

A new chapter

I am officially a Law undergraduate; it's strange to hear myself say these words.

I have really been enjoying university so far. It's a world away from home and I'm glad I made the move. I'd be lying if I said anxiety isn't  something I have to cope with on a daily basis, but I'm hoping to continue to tackle it before it becomes too much of a problem in my every day life at university. On the other hand, I have met many different people from all walks of life. I have found that some of these have been through similar issues that I have, which still surprises me, even though one in four experience problems with their mental health in any one year. I'm lucky to have met people who are as understanding.

Meeting new people has meant I was out almost every night for freshers. Although it was somewhat out of my comfort zone, I found a good group of people I could and can have a good time with. It just shows that stepping outside of your comfort zone is something we should all try once in a while. Cooking is still something I am getting used to and I'm sure that I'll get there eventually. But, for the moment I reckon I'm a long way from being the next winner of Masterchef! 

It's been over a month since moving out and yet it feels longer. I already feel I have embraced my independence. Taxis and buses, food shopping, budgeting, cleaning, joining societies and going to see a new doctor are all a main part of my life now. I didn't think I'd ever be able to get my independence back, but I have. I hope that from reading the beginning of my story of anxiety, to reading where I am now will give you hope. 
Once, the sheer thought of getting in a taxi would send panic through my body and stop me from moving and yet, I can now get in a taxi by myself. I know that it can seem that you'll never recover and you'll never be able to do the things you love; I have been there. But, you will get there over time, you just have to ride the wave with the knowledge that there is light at the end. Never be ashamed of your journey; you're not alone. 

I will keep you updated with my university journey and I hope to be back into a blogging routine very soon. Feel free to ask me any questions about my recent move! You can do more than your mind thinks you can.

Best Wishes,

I can't be happy

How many times have you heard someone say to you to "just be happy" or to "cheer up" and yet it feels like an impossibility? I know we all have down days; when we feel sad and tired and times when little words of encouragement and doing what we love can make us feel a whole lot better. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case.

There have been so many occasions where people have said to me, to "just think positively, when you do that your whole mindset will turn around." As much as I tried, I just couldn't think positively. I just couldn't change my life around. Thus, when someone says to you to just be happy, some people just feel they can't. It's not through a lack of trying that people feel this way. After all, who would want to be in darkness for their whole life?

Depression is something that many people describe as a black hole which can't be climbed out of, a weight on a sunny day, when everything is going well in life, but yet you cannot get out of bed in the morning.

Depression takes away the ability to do what you love. It is a real illness, which many scientists believe is based upon a chemical imbalance. Depression can physically stop you from doing things. You can begin to eat more or less, becoming more tired and angry, or struggle to sleep. You can lose interests in the things you once loved. You can lose concentration and have suicidal thoughts. From the inside the person may feel utterly hopeless and doesn't want to talk to anyone or do anything. They will be in turmoil. A complete lack of lust for life. This isn't ignorance, this is just the sheer lack of capability to face anything without feeling like you're going to explode.

For many on the outside and who have never experienced depression, I can understand how it is difficult to accept why people just can't do things. But, even if you don't understand it's important to be patient and to be there for the person. The worst thing you can do is be confrontational towards them as this just makes it worse and pushes the person further into the darkness than need be. Often when you're depressed you feel isolated and alone, and you need to just be there to look after them until they feel ready to face the world again.

Depression is a serious illness and needs to be regarded with importance. Please don't brush it aside. Don't forget to get professional help if you or someone you know is really struggling. You've got this.

Best wishes,

Compulsory education

I wrote a few months back about mental health in academia or rather the lack of it. This post is going to be focused more on the need for it rather than the pressures and protection.

I've been wanting to write this post for a while and is something which I am extremely passionate about, due to my own experience of mental health in the education system. However, what had sparked this post was a tweet from @Mentalhealth_ed who have set up petitions to the secretary of education, to make mental health in education compulsory. You can visit their website, here.

You see, mental health is extremely common, with 1/4 experiencing a mental health problem in any one year. More importantly though, 1/3 in every school class will experience a mental health problem. That's the same probability as some physical illnesses and yet, mental health is still not addressed as important or fatal, which of course it is.

The anatomy of the body is taught in biology, but yet mental health is left out of it. Furthermore, in personal development there is the discussion of drugs, alcohol and sex to an extent which may or may not be successful, but yet no talk of mental health. Until you go to school, you are surrounded by your families opinions, and at such an influential age this is all you really know. Thus this is where school becomes an important information source. With young people spending more time in education than outside, surely it's highly important to prepare them for future life and everything that can come their way. By educating early, we can get people to really understand the reasons and reality to mental health. In this way then we can battle the harmful and horrific stigma of the straight jackets, murderers and schizophrenics. 

If we aren't going to learn about this in education, then where will we learn it? We won't learn about it in the community, because many still believe in the myths. They aren't educated on mental health, which isn't always their fault; it's what they've been socialised into. I have written a lot more about the stigma, here and whilst we are working on the government, you can voluntarily read about the myths, here.

It's not just the education during these school years, but the importance in noticing how many pupils go through mental health problems. With mental health in schools still being taboo due to the lack of education, many will keep their mental health a secret as it is seen as 'bad' and this is extremely dangerous. Many teachers don't have the knowledge of how to act and pupils don't know how to act around them with only knowledge of stereotypes. With it being so common, not only do we need to teach to get others to understand, but to support those suffering. We must let them know it's okay to talk and you shouldn't suffer in silence.

Many of you retweeted my tweet about mental health and education, which is amazing; it just shows how many people see compulsory mental health in education as important. Please help us to raise more awareness and change the current situation by sharing this blog post, and using the hashtag #compulsorymentalhealth on twitter.

Let's just give ourselves one last reminder. Mental illness kills and destroys. Physical health is attributed with the same statistics and has more attention paid to it, but the same if not worse consequences can occur from a mental health condition. People have lost and are losing friends, family members, colleagues, sons and daughters, mums and dads due to the mental illness that is eating them away and yet this still isn't regarded as important enough to educate about. Because there aren't straightforward scientific methods to determine the diagnosis of these conditions, it's brushed aside. Because you can't see internal bleeding or a lack of white blood cells, it's regarded as inferior. But, let me ask you this; would a person stay in hell if they had the chance to leave?, would there be tears running down their face with absolute dread in their eyes, with a racing heartbeat if they weren't trying to get over the fear attributed with their mental health condition? It's time to face the fact that mental health does exist. We know that it can be a chemical imbalance and we can see from the outside the absolute turmoil in people's behaviour. Now's the time to educate, to get rid of the stigma and to save lives. 

You probably know someone who is suffering with mental illness or are yourself. Please sign the petitions to improve peoples lives for the future. 

Best wishes,

As a parent how should I act?

Firstly, I am not a parent and nor do I have any experience of being a parent, thus I can only write this post from my perspective and what my parents and others did for me, that has helped me through my battles with mental illness.

I often get lots of tweets and emails about how people feel they cannot talk to their parents in the fear that they won't understand, they will look down on them, or they will just laugh at it and these stories often sadden me. As a sufferer, it's important to remember that what you're going through is not your fault and if someone is willing to listen and try and understand, then that's great. I know it is hard to talk about your situation, but you may be surprised at how postively your parents may act and if they don't, you could inform them on what you're going through; there are various websites out there that can help you with this.

As a parent, the most important thing you can do is be there for them and be a listening ear. Unfortunatly, even parents don't sometimes have the answers. The worst thing that a parent can do though in my opinion, is to just tell someone to "get over it", to say "it's not real", to just "think positively" and to kind of ignore it. This suggests to them, that mental health shouldn't be talked about and is bad, which of course is not the case. After all, mental illness can kill just like a physical illness, so it's important to take it seriously and not brush it aside.

In terms of getting help, there's a range of services out there, which sometimes can be hard to find. Nevertheless, both the public and private sector have options to help. All your child wants is support, so it's always nice to know that a parent will support them through finding therapy, going to the doctors and taking medication, if that may be the case.

Mental health is also a very sensitive subject, and hence why I think it's important for my mental health to only be discussed with those I trust and not told to others which may make the situation worse, and to make me feel uncomfortable.

Again, I am not a parent, but this has been the most beneficial for me. Let them know that you can talk to them, even if you may feel awkward about it. Discussing what kind of support each person wants whilst going through these mental health issues, is also important. "What makes the person feel safe?" "What makes them feel comfortable?" As I'm sure many sufferers can relate, we don't want to be smothered with mental health talk all of the time! But, battling mental illness is often too difficult to cope with on your own and this why a support network is beneficial. 

I know it's hard for both sides, but trying your best to talk is a great step in the road to recovery. You can do this!

I'll leave you with a video, which may help begin your conversation on mental health: http://t.co/WdnA9PoF2U

I am not disordered

Hi! I’m Aimee from http://imnotdisordered.blogspot.co.uk/

Amy, has kindly asked me to write a guest post about being an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital to give some insight for those who have never been admitted.

I was first sectioned in 2009 when I took my first overdose in response to auditory hallucinations and I remember having absolutely no idea what was going on. I’d heard horror stories about our local psychiatric hospital and the police and hospital staff kept using terminology that I had never heard and didn’t understand; no one thought to explain it all to me. 

In my second admission, I was sent to a PICU for the first time; a PICU is a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit and once again, the seriousness of this was never explained to me, I just remember being told that the doors were locked. A Unit that is meant for some of the most mentally unwell people was used because I kept escaping from the open ward and the police told hospital staff they could not keep looking for me every single time I ran. That PICU was where I met my first inpatient friend; she persuaded me to finally tell people about my trauma and although I also had my first experience of ‘seclusion’ (a slightly padded room that you are usually kept in after needing to be restrained and sedated) there, it still wasn’t a particularly memorable experience. My third admission was the result of a ‘psychotic episode’ in which I’d become completely lost and consumed with my hallucinations and delusions. I was kept on a PICU for about three months and I saw a lot of poorly people, one of which, assaulted me. I was later told that this admission was used to determine whether I had psychosis.

From then (early 2010) until summer 2012, I never spent more than a month in hospital though I was admitted many times as I continued to overdose, self-harm and experience hallucinations. I was eventually diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and on one of my numerous admissions, a Doctor advised that my community team begin looking into a specialist hospital for me. I didn’t even know places like that existed! The first hospital I was assessed for, refused to accept my risk and I remember thinking ‘I’m never going to get better; no one will give me the chance.’ Then finally, I was admitted to a specialist ward in a private hospital, two and half hours away from home.

I've been here for 23 months now and as cliché as it sounds, it’s been a rollercoaster! Being an inpatient for so long has its positives and negatives. Probably the best thing has been that it’s meant my Doctors have gotten to know me properly which has meant they’ve got a better understanding of things. Another positive is that because it’s a long-term ward, I've made some amazing friends and I'm actually getting better because that’s what this ward is for. All of my previous admissions have either been about keeping me safe or trying to break my cycle of self-harm, so no hospital has ever actually tried to work through the causes for all of this. The two main negatives that I see are being away from home for so long and it’s sometimes quite an intense environment to be ‘living’ in. There’s always going to be some girls that don't get along and I've witnessed many arguments and even a few physical fights. There’s also the odd upset from staff when there’s a lack in communication/organisation or a let-down. But ultimately, I’m so grateful that my funding was approved for me to be here; this hospital has genuinely saved my life.

Life Lessons

I asked for the help of the people of twitter again for today's post. I wanted to be able group together people's life lessons, favourite quotes and things they would tell their younger self in the hope that others could benefit from it. If you have something you would like to share, don't forget to leave a comment down below.

I tell myself everyday, that today is going to be ok. - Angela Wood

Every time you give in to your fear and retreat, you are feeding the illness. Soldier on, it will boost your confidence! - BlueBelle

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'. Sent by Gemma Sturgess.

"Nothing needs to be the end of the world". Anxiety makes this hard to believe, but it's true. - Lexie Mayhew

Do NOT start smoking - Mez Jones

"Live as if you are going to die tomorrow" - Sent by Mez Jones

Have the courage to be yourself, for many people are very understanding and supportive (most of the time!) - Dr Andrew K Black

Talk to a trusted person about your anxiety and emotions. Seek help sooner. Knowing others have the same helps - Dig-iT

Live life and be true to yourself. Get help with your depression and psychological help about all have fun and smile - Mitch Mitchell.

To my younger self - laugh often, be mentally/physically good to yourself, encourage others, pray - Generally anxious

A life of fear and avoidance leads to a small and unfulfilling life. Still fighting my way out after 20+ years if it. - Ian Hoadley

Read 'Peace is every step' by Thich Nhat Hanh - David Czekaj

However strong you are, we all have a tipping point. Don't beat yourself up. When you're at your lowest, the only way is up - Lisa.

"What you focus your attention on, grows. Remember the good times, laugh often and forgive 

and let go of the past" - Sent by Kirsty Ellis.

Grab every opportunity, don't wait for it to happen or you'll still be sitting there when you get to my age. #havenoregrets - Weller is God

I would tell my younger self "You're allowed to not always be at your best. It's ok to fail, that's how you learn." Hugh Gallagher

All you need is awareness - Roger

Advice to my younger self "Have the guts to just be yourself, we are all different in so many 

special ways" - Brian Daly

Instead of wasting energy on the things you can't change, accept them and focus on the things you can - Girly Girl

People who matter love you for who you are. Don't think about what others think, they don't matter - Stacy Leigh K

"Everything's going to be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end!" - Sent by Surena Chande

"Failure is a good thing. But once you've failed, there's nothing to be afraid of anymore" - Sent by Skye McAdams

"Whatever happens tomorrow, we've had today" Skye McAdams

Best wishes,