TW: Suicide and suicidal thoughts

Suicide.

A word that we always hear and think we understand, but in reality someone's relationship with suicide can be a lot more complex than what we would usually understand it to be.

First off, for further information on suicide itself and where to get help, please refer back to my post on the topic.

As some of us may know, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45. That's a higher statistic than heart attacks and cancer. If that statistic doesn't sink in then you best read it again...that man is your Dad, your husband, brother, son...you. Of course, suicide isn't solely something that only men are committed to doing, it can be anyone.

When we think of suicide, we think of someone committing the act that results in their death and when we say that someone has taken their own life or committed suicide, then that would be correct to say. There is another side to suicide that often goes unseen and consists of the thoughts and feelings in the lead up to someone deciding to end their life. Suicidal thoughts are exactly that; thinking about suicide. It may include the thoughts, preparation, and ideologies of it but more importantly it might not actually be something that the person will undertake. 

As some of you may know, I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendencies from around the age of fourteen, when I had my first suicide attempt. It was around that age that not only did I have the suicidal thoughts leading up to the attempt, but it is such that it is now a regular thought process in my brain for most days of my life, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I will undertake any of these thoughts. 

As much as I can explain the above, it's hugely important to realise there is a very thin line between simply having these thoughts and actually doing something about it. I often feel that people underplay this when they hear the notion of it spoken about. What you must remember is that the person whom you think will never do it and you could bet that as such, will be the ones that will. In fact, anyone with these thoughts needs to be taken seriously, listened to and given the opportunity to access professional medical support. 

Although there may be this difference between doing something and not, you never want to be in the position where you didn't take someone seriously and that was the last time you saw them. It's important that you talk to the person and understand what is going on inside their head and the risk that they are posing to themselves regardless of it being thoughts or actual acts or preparation. 

Don't be ashamed.

You could be saving another life by talking, but you could be saving yours.

Twenty-two prose

When things are clear, it's easy,

But it rarely has been.

Energy is drained and I'd rather be numb,

Then feel a range of emotions where happiness might exist.

I'm meant to miss in all ways,

Some ways,

No ways,

And I do,

But I am never fixated.

I can't make sense of myself when I live in it,

It might be the end when I know. 

Do I do it now?

Pain and fragility exists here,

And the mind has all of the possibilities that may not be true

And if the inside was known,

I might be held even if I was the sun.

Life in lockdown

Lockdown is a phrase we have all become accustomed to, but one which I never thought I would become acquainted with. 

At the moment of writing this I am in the midst of a 14 day isolation period where I am unable to step outside of the boundaries of my home. It just so happens that my home consists of a bedroom at this stage in my life. I must admit prior to this, the thought of being in isolation was one which I thought I wouldn't be able to cope with. A life without physical contact, fresh air and freedom...But the brain is a magnificent organ that can either make or break you. It's not necessarily a matter of changing your mindset because that's not always possible, but it's adapting your brain's capacity in the circumstances you find yourself in, as well as your life as you know it. I've gone from exercising outside and in a gym to doing home workouts and finding other ways to entertain myself than through other people. 

It has made me realise that I am on my own, but only in physicality. I can be at one with myself and rely on myself to get through each day. I would always fill every single minute of my day with seeing people or doing something productive and now, I have to turn that on its head and do the exact opposite and I'm ok. It's not necessarily what I want to do, but I certainly haven't died like I thought I would have. There are extremely wobbly moments and have been where I have felt on the brink of insanity as well as feeling like I am a hamster trapped in a cage, but I know this is only for a short period of time and by understanding my coping mechanisms, I can find find ways through it.

It's not necessarily normal for the human body to be put through these situations, as we too often know that it can lead to insanity and it is no surprise that mental illness has increased amongst the lockdown. I too know with my mental health diagnosis' that my brain can become overwhelming to the point I no longer feel that I can be rational about my actions, however I am trying to utilise my brain in such a way that I try to become accustomed to this way of life. It's important to remain in contact with friends and family, counsellors and charities to keep you grounded and stick to a routine.

Amongst everything, the isolation has taught me that I can handle being by myself and I can rely on myself. I don't need to rely on another, but it is also not a negative to do so. I won't end up dying by losing my mind and my mind is a lot stronger than the panic thought it was. I am taking this time as an opportunity to gain knowledge about myself and rest; something that I would never get to do in any other circumstances that would be presented to me in the ordinary way of life. This situation won't last forever and there is nothing that I can do to change it, so there is no point in wasting my energy, wishing my life was different. It's okay to feel a range of emotions and let them flow through you, but try not to let them become overwhelming and if they do, reach out. It won't be as bad as you think.

25 things I've learnt at 25

Last month I turned 25...yikes! I think I've finally started to feel like I am stepping into the shoes of an adult rather than a child or a teenager and as a result I'm going to share with you some of what I have learnt over my years on this planet:

1. You have the same right to be on this planet as anyone else.

2. Always be yourself.

3. Don't let other people treat you like shit.

4. Anything can happen at any given time, anything.

5. Life rarely happens like you plan it out to be.

6. Your journey is not to be compared to others. It is not a competition.

7. We all have different starting points.

8. Love is all that matters, in what ever forms you wish that to be.

9. You can't take materialistic things with you when you die.

10. Spend more money and time on experiences.

11. Always strive for yours goals, no matter how many times you get knocked back.

12. You're not as fat as you perceive yourself to be.

13. Heartbreaks hurt, but you will get through it and it will teach you something positive.

14. Explore the world whilst you can!

15. If your gut is telling you something, it is usually right.

16. The brain is an extremely powerful organ and it can destroy you as well as make you.

17. Start saving at the earliest opportunity...adulting is expensive!

18. Take it step by step; the bigger picture will overwhelm you.

19. There's always going to be someone that doesn't like you.

20. There are always two sides to every story and someone may see you differently because of an untrue story.

21. We all make mistakes. Own up to them. Apologise if necessary.

22. Take time to yourself, own your own.

23. Always talk to someone. 

24. Always sleep on a decision before you make it.

25. Recognise toxicity. The sooner it's dealt with, the better you will feel.

I could write many more, but this is the list for now...

Lil' Steps Wellness Farm | AD

Animals, they are always that I gravitate towards during my down days. They bring a sense of calm and an overwhelming sense of happiness. 

Lil' Wellness Farm uses the idea of animals to help children and teens through their mental health struggles, by using them to assist with their therapy. If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you will know that first and foremost, therapy is something which I have put as my number one recommendation. Therapy is what can help you get to the route causes of your mental illness and struggles, to help and rewire your brain. For children, therapy can sometimes be something that seems quite formal and scary and so with the introduction of animals, it provides a much easier and calmer environment. Adults can also benefit from this too! I'm twenty-five now and would happily have this as part of my therapy routine.

The Farm is situated in St. Malo, MB and it offers a range of services and programmes to suit whatever issue you may be dealing with. Recently, the founder of the farm, Lucy has written a book to accompany the wellness treatments that are already offered. It is a book focused for children and teaches them how to handle worry and fear and how to deal with it appropriately. This makes it much less scary than seeing someone sitting in an armchair as they would traditionally experience! I know I would've loved it if my cartoon characters would've spoken about at the anxieties I was feeling as a young child. The book is titled 'Cindy and Cristabelle's Big Scare'. You can grab yourself a copy from the website which I have linked below.

Lucy is also expanding her experiences to create courses that will appear in schools based upon the book, as well as a parent and caregiver course which will help parents to understand how to look after their child if they are struggling. This is hugely important as I find it is often the negativity from parents and guardians that can really stunt the growth of a child when they are struggling. If we find that mental health is becoming something that may become part of a school syllabus, we will find happier and healthier children. 

Lucy has a history routed in psychology and counselling and has used this to help create a professional, fun and working environment that I wish I had access to during my trying times. 

If anything I have written is something that you would be interested in, alongside all of the other events and services the farm offers, head over to their website, here.

Understanding other's emotions

Believe it or not, we all can still find ourselves acting from a primitive side of our brain during most situations in our lives. When a car pulls out on us, we usually react in anger rather than thinking why the other person acted in such a way. This is known as a primitive reaction. Perhaps that person was late for an interview or had a medical emergency? That's not to say that their actions were correct, it's just a intellectual thought pattern that will change our unhelpful reaction at the time and one that we rarely consider.

I feel teenagers, my teenage self included, are a prime example of having emotional outbursts without thinking of the reasoning behind it first. I remember that I used to just argue and scream and shout anytime I felt attacked for my behaviour in the aim of defending it. However, that never ended well and I always ended being worse off. Perhaps the biggest issue was that I never did reflect and the problem didn't get solved at all.

If there's struggles in relationship or connection, it may be that we are misunderstanding the other person and what they are trying to portray. We can find that people seem to overreact about the tiniest thing and take their anger out upon us, and we have the tendency to bite right back, which is never going to help anyone. But before doing this, take a few seconds to try and examine why this person is acting the way they are. The kitchen might have a few crumbs on the worktop and yet you're now part of an argument as if you've broken their favourite and rare piece of pottery. Their reaction seems extreme and your reaction is to defend yourself because you don't want your character to be defamed for no apparent reason. However what you may find with reactions such as this, is that the person is really saying to you that they got a warning at work today, or their Mum is sick. Even as adults we can often find ourselves reverting back to our childhood behaviours when we are going through struggles. This is not to excuse their behaviour and should be told as such, but it may be a subtle cry for help. 

Sometimes when we are personally attacked, it may not be about you yourself, but may be about what the other person is struggling with. Never automatically assume this though and always see where you can improve before looking into the other person's emotional state. Every action that we undertake draws from all areas of life, some good experiences and some bad and we react and assume accordingly to what we have been taught. This is why when someone acts in a way that I wouldn't be deem to be correct or right, I usually take the time to sit back and see if there are any internal or external factors that would've caused them to act in that way before deciding how to react. You'll find your reactions and ways of coping will change dramatically when switching from primitive reactions to intellectual and logical ones.

The opinions of a single life

The other day I was posed with a statement: 'You're twenty-four now, shouldn't you think about settling down?'. It stumped me for a little bit because even though I know my answer, if you look all over social media there are people my age whom are engaged and are getting mortgages, perhaps because they're happy or perhaps because it's what society and instagram shows is what makes you happy and this can be an extreme influence on our daily lives. I think we all seem to fall into this trap of what is meant to be good rather than taking the time of looking into ourselves and thinking about what it is that we actually want as people. 

It's funny how we take other people's opinions so seriously and yet the person who has come up with that opinion, will take no more than a couple of seconds to think about it before getting on with their own lives and yet we use that opinion to fulfil some of the most important decisions that we will ever make in our lifetimes. We all get too easily sucked into what our lives should be, that we can end up unhappy in the long run. All of us feel like we're in a constant rat race to be better and compete against each other, but that will only ever bring us temporary happiness. If marriage isn't for you, and yet it is seen as the done thing, your instagram of your wedding day may be pretty but your life won't be, if it's not what you really wanted. 

In response to the question, I had to look at what was the right thing for me. I don't have to be in a relationship constantly in order to be happy. In fact, a lot of relationships, especially the wrong ones, can breed more unhappiness. There is no rule book that states a relationship will make you happier than being single as it is all down to the person. We seem to have this romantic vs classical philosophy that being single is wrong and makes you unhappy, but people forget about the toxic relationships that exist and own personal preferences, which should all be considered.

At the end of the day, there is nothing that will make you happier than doing what feels right within you. If that means never getting married, or travelling the world and starting a career when you're thirty, that's okay. There is no hard and fast rule, just because someone on instagram has got hundreds of likes...they may be extremely unhappy in their choices down the line just because they felt this invisible pressure to follow the trend. 

There are certain external factors about my environment that mean I am not fully in the place where I want to be right now, but that is something I have to accept. What I can change is important and with that, it is what I want and not what others deem my success to be. Real success is making decisions, that at the time feel right, even if they may not work out in the end. 

Two years

Change is happening all around us, all of the time. It is happening to ourselves every single day, even if we are not purposefully forging forward with it. 

I have experienced more change in myself over these past two years than I have in the majority of my life. I'm twenty-four now, moving towards twenty-five and the last time I felt that I had to make as many life-changing decisions as I have, I was sixteen. During that time I was stripped back to my bare bones and had to build my life up from scratch. This is something I've not necessarily had to do again over these past two years, but I have definitely uncovered parts of me that I didn't know I still had issues with. 

it's taken everything I have had to make it through some of the horrific dark times during this period, but I've also been graced with so much growth. I've made mistakes, as does any human-being, but I feel that I have now been equipped with a strong sense of what I want and don't want and am getting to a point where I can see the light through the trees. Looking back, I felt that I knew myself and the state of play in the world, but now I know this was never the case at all. It took me taking a step back and spending many day alone by myself to understand the change that was right in front of my face. Naivety is always present. 

I've played with guilt a lot over these past few years too, wondering whether I'm making the right decision for myself and others. We all know that guilt comes from a subconscious effort to do the right thing and to treat those whom we love around us, with respect and honesty. If we feel that we haven't fulfilled that or done something that may have hurt others, this feeling will present itself. It's important to note however that the feeling of guilt may not mean that we have always done something wrong as the traditional understanding would suggest, but it can be us putting ourselves first which might be at the unfortunate detriment to some close to us. It's important to keep looking at ourselves and being truthful that if we have done wrong and haven't treated someone as well as we could, we try to fix it. But the notion of that must always be balanced with our external environment. Not every guilty feeling means we are inherently wrong, but we must always be able to accept where we have done wrong. I know I haven't always been right in the past and this is where we learn going forward, because we cannot go back.

If you are making the decision for yourself and not intentionally hurting others, then you have nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, it is about a fine balance but the core element remains that you cannot stop living your life because of other people's opinions or else you would be stuck in the same place forever. We all hate harming the people we are close to, but we cannot maintain the same from fear of the outside perception if we have been clear with those around us to the extent that is necessary.

Guilt is a funny thing. It's something that makes out heart sink and race and it may show us another side to ourselves, but it must be something that must always be meticulously reviewed and understood, balanced with harm and risk. The difficult times that come with it, often present ourselves with the most growth and at the time, we may feel that the struggle will never end but it always does in one way or another. Don't substitute. 

Loneliness

Loneliness is something that we tend to associate with the elderly, but we all feel it. Physically, loneliness can happen at any age. We might find ourselves not making any friends at university, having just moved to a new town or too sick to go outside. More recently we might connect with this feeling during the midst of the covid pandemic.

The deep sinking feeling of loneliness can occur at any time. We might feel our heart fall out when we're in a crowd full of people, even if those people are our best friends and family and yet feeling like there is no one there at all. This is common to be familiar with and happens to all of us at some point in our lives. It's worth noting that although we may feel lonely, we are in fact very loved. Feelings are just that, feelings.


Physically, it's important to remember that being on your own isn't isolated to the age that you are, nor is it always something to be frowned upon. You can be lonely not matter where or whom you are. I'm twenty-four and I have been severely lonely at many points in my life. I have felt the pain of being in a new town, hours away from home and not knowing anyone or anything, trying to find my way across a new country or having no one to talk to in a hotel room at two in the morning. Our circumstances is what leads us to be lonely, nothing more and nothing less.

There is a key amongst all of this however. We must take this time to understand ourselves, and not attach ourselves to the nearest thing or person that provides us with a little bit of company and solitude. Our decisions need to be as calculated and understood as if we were surrounded by a hundred people. The struggle that we face as humans, is that most of us are born to have an emotional connection with at least another person and when we don't have that, we strive and accept anything that may give us something similar. The issue we then face, when we are in this vulnerable state, is that we accept behaviours that can be toxic to ourselves and our lives. A good stead and fast rule is to look and see whether, if we were in a loving and fulfilled environment, would we still accept and spend time with the person. The answer to that question may still be yes, however our actions may differ if we were in ordinary circumstances. Reviewing your actions and taking a step outside yourself to look at it, is still as important as understanding how to cope with the loneliness that you are facing. Desperate actions can be just as detrimental to your self as sustained unwanted loneliness.

Who am I?

It’s a bit of a weird question, but one you should ask yourself. I bet if you even asked yourself the question right now, you wouldn’t be able to give me a quantitive answer. There’s often one thing that you do know though, and that’s what you stand by, what you’re passionate for and the truth of your actions.

I feel that we often get caught up in the busyness of daily life sometimes and through relationships and gossip we can often lose our sense of self. We may find ourselves questioning, ‘am I still me?’. Perhaps one thing that can shake us the most is other people’s perceptions of oneself. Deep down, I’m sure we’d all want to be seen as a good, honest and trustworthy person but in reality we can’t be that all of the time. We all make mistakes and it’s the owning up to that which is important. I will admit that I’ve made mistakes in the past and I am quite happy to own that. It’s when other people spread gossip or rumours which can result you not only finding  out things about yourself you never knew before, but it may also make you feel angry as people may believe things about you that aren’t wholly the case. To add to that, it may not be appropriate to put the story straight either and so th saga continues.

This is why I mentioned about having a strong sense of self because no matter what, I’m sure people will talk about whatever you have been involved in at some point. It hurts to think that people have a different perception about you, but if you know the truth deep down you shouldn’t have to justify it. You know what has really happened and I feel if people took the time of day to use their ears more than their mouth then people would take the time to understand the truth behind some of the stories they hear. Of course this is easier said than done because sometimes what people hear is taken as gospel and that can causes issues with careers and relationships, for example.

At the end of the day, you have the same right to be on this planet as anyone else and you shouldn’t have to prove yourself to people just because someone’s heard something down the line. As long as you know yourself deep down, that’s what matters.

I feel numb

Depression is an odd thing sometimes, isn’t it? Sometimes you feel like you’re battling against the world and then the next thing you know, you can’t feel anything at all.

I think the issue I face the most is my depression and the constant battle with my medication. I remember when I was just beginning to face my difficulties with depression and anxiety and I could feel every tingle in my body and urge to run. I can also remember some days when I did feel genuinely happy. But as my condition got worse, the more the depression engulfed me to the point I could no longer live without at least giving medication a try. 

As I have mentioned in the past, medication for me was a miracle and almost seven years later, I still have a daily dosage. It helped to level me out to a point whereby I could begin to function again in daily life, but it also made me feel numb in way that depression couldn’t. I feel used to my mood and understanding myself by now, but as a result of my medication for my depression I never seem to reach the extremes of any emotion. I guess that’s a consequence I have to face, otherwise I’m sure I would be feeling the very depths of depression and that’s not a risk I can take.

I’m not sure that I’ve needed my medication for a very long time, but I haven’t found a good place where I am able to come off of it. There’s always work in the way and the concern that I would spiral, but I like to think that I understand what triggers me and what doesn’t these days. I do dream of a day when I can feel the depths of love, happiness and excitement, not at the expense of my mental illness and I am pretty sure I will be able to do that soon, which is an exciting prospect. It would almost be like taking off a mask.

There are still a few occasions where I will feel numb in times of great stress and life events and that’s not something that medication could ever solve. I cannot expect for that to be something that my medication could handle when my external environment also changes. There are also times when certain triggers of mine with still wreck havoc regardless of anything I’m taking and that usually won’t be numbness, but rather feeling the whole world and loss of coping.

Numbness is something that anyone can deal with, whether that’s through grief of shock. It’s perhaps even more so if you have depression as a condition as it can be your body’s way of protecting itself from further harm. What people forget is that the brain is just as important as the rest of the body and needs armour sometimes too. When you become numb, it’s your body’s way of stopping any more stress from takings it’s toll. Perhaps even repeated traumatic situations will lead you to become numb to a particular area, causing you difficulty to connect with others. But as I’ve also discussed, numbness can also be in every emotion you feel and it’s certaintly something I feel on a regular basis. It’s almost as if I can only reach eighty percent of an emotion, as long as what I’m facing on the outside isn’t severely triggering. But sometimes you have to understand that it’s a balance and a compromise and a journey that does get easier over time.

Cognital behaviour therapy

I know the phrase sounds scary, but the therapy itself is not. 

I often get asked what therapy and counselling I have had which has helped me through my anxiety and depression. One of the most successful therapies has been CBT or cognital behaviour therapy.

CBT is a form of therapy which has the aim of changing the way in which your brain reacts to certain situations; allowing you to have emotional regulation where you might not have had it before. In other words, if you have a specific phobia that causes your anxiety, this therapy would aim in helping you to change your reaction to it in order to deal with it in the future. Your reaction may not be a conscious choice and so it will attempt to rewire how you would subconsciously react to it.

I first came into contact with CBT when I was an outpatient of the NHS. At the time I had severe anxiety, meaning that I could hardly leave the house and wasn’t going to school. I was requested to make a list of what caused me the least anxiety to what triggered me the most. If I remember correctly, I put catching a bus at the bottom and getting a job as the most severe. Over many months and working with my therapist, I repeatedly put myself in the situations that were causing me anxiety and over time, with the more exposure I had, the less anxious I became.

It does seem very black and white, but the process of exposure isn’t a very straightforward one. Some days you’ll be able to handle a situation and then the next you won’t. But it’s all about having the will power to work through and not give up, or else you’ll find the therapy won’t work.

I was often given worksheets which I would have to fill out before every situation I felt anxious for. I would rate how I was feeling before and how it actually went afterwards. I delved into the reasons why I felt that way and whether it was a rational thought. Over time, your brain rewires it’s reactions. All of my triggers once gave me so much anxiety that I would have panic attacks and all the symptoms that came with it. But through the intense one to one therapy I now don’t even give any of these scenarios a second thought...amazing!

CBT isn’t for everyone, but it does take immense effort for it to work, so you should ensure to give it some time before no longer engaging. You’ll find that the therapy is available on the NHS and privately, if you’re interested. Still to this day, I honestly believe that this was one of the greatest stepping stones I have undertaken in my progress to better mental health. It might not be for everyone but it’s certainly worth a try.

The historical pandemic

What we are experiencing now is history. It is something many of us never thought we would experience in our lifetimes and the last time the world had to come together in such as way can only be lightly likened to the world war. 

The current pandemic is showing us much more than just the statistics that we see on the news. We have seen the best and worst of humanity over these past few months and I like to think that most of it, is positive. At points, we have shown our true colours and allowed our selfishness to shine through with our stockpiling and seeing friends and family 'because it won't affect us'. But we have also seen so much community. We have built numerous hospitals, the government has paid for the majority of wages, all of our key workers have come together to heal the sick and thousands of volunteers have come forward to help. Neighbours are looking out for each other and people are praising the NHS like never before.

We have had to change how we are living in every way. Children are no longer going to school and people are no longer going to work, families are spending more time together than ever and exams have been cancelled. Not every change is beneficial for the individual itself and I do understand that there are stresses that this brings, but by doing so we can be saving thousands of lives.

It's important to take stock of this time. We are unlikely to get this amount of time to work on ourselves, make change and spend time with our families, ever again. We get so caught up in the busyness of daily life that having this emptiness can make us feel lost and have no purpose, but perhaps now is the time to really understand what it is that we want and how we can improve. Take the chance to be at one with nature and just sit still.

Keep sticking to the advice and rules and these restrictions will be lifted sooner or later. At the end of the day we cannot change situation, but only adapt and accept it. This is a small price to pay for saving a person that someone can't bear to be without. 

Remember, just because there may have to be physical distance, doesn't mean that there has to be distance between how you communicate. It's a tough and worrying time for all involved so make sure you reach out.

Look after yourselves.

I'm not where I want to be

We all have to do things in life that we don't want to do. Some of us have to undertake more of what we loathe than others to get to where we want and we also cannot change the basic hand that has been dealt to us.

I often find myself thinking that I’m not where I want to be. I’m not at the top of my career or have the physique I want and I don’t have a house or live in my preferred area. At the same time I can find myself comparing my progress with others. In reality though, we can’t have everything we want at the click of our fingers. Not everyone gets given inheritance or the same metabolism and not everyone starts at the same band braket or gets a choice in where they can live. It’s all about making the best of your situation and trying to be the best you can be at the time.

I was once told to look at things as boxes. If you cannot change the situation, then put it in a box. There is no point wasting energy on something that won’t change no matter how hard you try. If you can change it, then action something. There’s no point in complaining about something that you can change. Of course this is easier said than done, because emotions are often hard to regulate, but it does simplify a situation. In the same way that the past is the past and there is nothing you can do to change it so don’t continue to use your energy from today, on that...again, easier said than done.

Sometimes we have to experience things that we don’t want to get to where we want in the end. Whether that be doing a job or training that you’re not keen on or working overtime to save for that house. Unfortunately it’s a part of life and the sooner that can be understood that there is no other potential outcome, the less stress that you will put on yourself. We don’t all start at the same start line and your progress will be different to the next persons and that’s ok. You wouldn’t want to live exactly like them anyway!

In reality, all we have is now. The past has gone and the future doesn’t exist. We all plan for things that have varying factors that could change the state of play. What we can do however, is put our most into the things we can change now in order to affect any future outcomes and enjoy what we have. Once upon a time you probably dreamt of what you have now. You may not be where you want to be, but if you can honestly say you are trying your best to get to where you want, then you’re on the right track.

Namaste Weighted Blankets | AD

No matter what stage we’re at in our life, anxiety can take a toll on us. It can cause fear, nausea, fatigue, and much more.

Because of the severity of anxiety, a lot of us are constantly searching for ways to help with anxiety. One of the best ways to help deal with anxiety and relieve symptoms is with a Namaste weighted blanket.

These weighted blankets are designed in a way for people to deal with anxiety head-on. If you struggle with anxiety, then Namaste’s anxiety blanket is perfect for you.

Down below will take a closer at exactly how the blanket helps with anxiety. Let’s get started.

Serotonin

Serotonin is a chemical nerve that cells produce and its benefits include the ability to help calm the body. Namaste’s anxiety blanket helps the release of serotonin in the body. This factor allows the body to be more calm, cool and collected. Three factors that are important for the body during the difficult nature of dealing with anxiety. With an increase of serotonin, you’ll start to see the side effects of anxiety not be as severe. Although this isn’t a 100-percent solution, it’s definitely a start.

Helps Sleep

Part of the reason anxiety levels are high in certain people is due to how they sleep. Anxiety is often caused by a lack of sleep and restlessness. A weighted blanket like this has been proven to provide deeper sleep which will allow people to feel more rested. Theoretically causing them to feel stressed and anxious as a result. If you have anxiety and have trouble sleeping, then this blanket is a perfect two-way solution for you. We all know how important sleep is, especially for those who feel stressed or anxious. With this knowledge, why wait? Help your anxiety now by getting a namaste anxiety blanket.

Comfort

A big issue with anxiety is that it causes irritability. Irritability is something that makes it nearly impossible to feel comfortable. One of the best ways to fight anxiety is to try and feel comfortable. With this in mind, a Namaste weighted blanket guarantees you that you’ll feel more comfortable. Once you feel more comfortable, you’ll start to deal with symptoms of anxiety better and eventually get to where you want to be.

Deep Pressure

The main reason a Namaste weighted blanket has this positive effect on people has to do with the deep pressure effect of it. The deep pressure effect of it has been studied and linked to being the source of calming the nerves, promoting sleep, and helping people come down from anxious episodes. If you struggle with anxiety and have a hard time dealing with, the deep pressure sensation a weighted blanket gives you will certainly help.

Where You Can Buy One

Besides anxiety relief, there are countless benefits to a weighted blanket. If you’re interested in a weighted blanket, or more importantly Namaste’s anxiety blanket, look no further. Click here to grab your weighted anxiety blanket.

Prose

It hurts,
It just hurts,
And there's no other way to describe it anymore,
I'm too tired and can't think straight,
I just want to be at peace because years is a long time to be sad,
And pain is an awful familiarity.

But there can be lightbulb moments,
When a connection is strong,
And it doesn't matter how long.

I'm stuck in a world of anguish,
Where my energy is used on my breath,
And only the answers,
Can come from inside,
But I'm floating between black and white,
My feet never touching the ground.

I just hope that I can wake up,
Feeling a rush of dopamine,
Because its been a while,
When I've lost so much,
And opportunities are scarce when past becomes present.

In twenty years time will I still feel this way
Will I wonder what you're doing,
And where you'll be,
Will I have made a good decision
Or will I still feel dead to the world
with the memories alive

I wonder how it can be
And I thank you for meeting me
that I feel like I've known you all my life
because strangely it means the world
and stories haven't even been told

I'm lost,
and now you too,
My choices have power,
But I have little to give,
All I want is to be embraced,
And be told I will be ok.

Now is all I have
And I can change
And that presents strength
I hope you can do the same

Forgiveness is key
For complexity
And maybe one day I will sit to smell the flowers
With the biggest smile
And I too will bloom,
Apart,
Or alongside you.

Pain and addiction

Pain and addiction often come hand in hand. You often hear of those whom have been through trauma turning to drugs, alcohol or some other outlet. Some people just use some of these outlets occasionally and never fully get addicted and how we react as induviduals can be down to a range of factors.

Another way we can often deal with situations that might involve pain and trauma is through avoidance. We know how to physically avoid danger, but what about mentally? If we’ve been through something that was mentally tough, we’re not likely to want to experience it again and I feel the most complex situation we face with pain and addiction is when we involve love in its various forms. This is why I often feel people may avoid relationships, friendships and family relations after getting hurt or still not being over someone to avoid pain and to stop any addiction from occurring (after all, people say love is a drug!) 

I can relate to this issue immensly. If you avoid any situation relating to pain then you can’t get hurt, but at the same you can’t enjoy everything it has to offer. As I’ve mentioned previously I believe this to have come from my childhood, but also more recent experiences and struggling to move forward. Even if you try to strike a compromise between the two then you may not get hurt as much, but you may not still experience everything to it’s fullest.

The best way to resolve the situation between pain and addiction is to understand why you are reacting in the way that you are. You need to identify the problem before looking at a solution. If the problem cannot be solved quickly, then it’s best to be black and white and explain to those around you what the status quo is for you. That way there will be less pressure on you to get led by something you’re not comfortable in doing. It’s a tricky ground to navigate when you don’t feel fully healed yourself, but it’s important to make it clear.

It’s important to also remember that addiction can become dangerous very quickly too, which is why you should review your actions on a regular basis and understand why you are addicted to a specific thing and whether it is good or bad. Actions can also be dangerous when dealing with pain because you may be more vulnerable than you would be otherwise. It’s important to deal with the problem head on, because once you have an addiction, it can be hard to get out of, whether that be drugs, alcohol, toxic friendships or relationships.

Take time to understand yourself. Inform others and although your actions might not be as clear as you’d like and you might make mistakes, you’ve laid the ground to work on yourself and given others the chance to understand and accept. Perhaps in time pain and addiction might not be such an issue due to progress you will make. In reality we can never really fully avoid it. It is all part of the the tapestry of life, it may just take time for you to work through it and that’s ok. No one person should rush you through it.

The invisible illness

Trigger warning: mention of suicide and self harm.

Otherwise known as the invisible illness, something that cannot be seen and therefore cannot be believed, mental illness is the secret in disguise.

It is the thing that people are beginning to talk about, but still only one person really understands and that person is, you.

When sitting in a classroom or at a desk at work, you're hiding the bandage on your wrist covered by your long sleeves. No one would know what happened in your bedroom half an hour earlier with that bright smile on your face.

An awkward joke of suicide and people would say 'of course you would've mentioned a suicide attempt because no one would turn up to work the next day having tried to jump off a chair with a dressing gown rope around their neck at 10:59pm the night before.'

Because someone who is still sending text messages and picking up your calls can put as many emoticons as they like and filtered pictures on instagram, to build a false picture.

It's trying to describe exactly what it is like to live with mental illness and there not being words to encompass it.

It's everyone talking hot air because it's the latest topic and trend, but some don't mean anything by it. But some are also making massive positive change.

It's feeling completely detached in a room full of people and acomplishing things that others already have and feeling as if you've had to climb a mountain to get there and they've only had to walk up a hill. It's worth so much more.

People saying that there is nothing to be depressed about and life could be so much worse...yes I know. Of course I choose to have moments of pain.

It's...invisible. It's hidden. But the symptoms are real and you see them every day.

Ask, talk and help until you believe, because it is very much believable when they are no longer here.

Can Flotation Therapy help with anxiety? | AD

This article looks at whether floatation can be an effective way to treat anxiety.

What is Floating?

Floatation involves lying in a floatation tank, a large, egg-shaped pod filled with highly concentrated Epsom saltwater heated to skin temperature. It is also known as Restricted Environmental Stimulation Therapy (REST) and sensory deprivation as you are deprived of all senses - sound, sight, smell, taste, and touch. The tank is completely lightless and soundless and the Epsom saltwater causes you to float as you feel free from gravity.

Experience in the Tank

Whilst in the tank, you are freed of all external stimuli as you float weightlessly in the darkness and silence. Floating activates the parasympathetic nervous system which slows the heart rate and helps you to relax. Your brain reaches its lucid, not-thinking alpha state and any anxious thoughts dissipate. You then enter a theta state, a deep state of relaxation and meditation, a half-sleep state reached just before drifting off to sleep or waking up.

Floating and Anxiety - The Evidence

Justin Feinstein is a clinical neuropsychologist who investigates float therapy as a treatment for those with anxiety and depression. He carried out a study in which he mapped the brains of participants using fMRI and then took images again after a 60-minute float. He found that floating quietens the activity of the amygdala, the part of the brain which controls fear and anxiety.

A 2018 study on 50 participants with stress and anxiety-related disorders found that a one-hour session in a floatation tank can provide relief from stress and anxiety symptoms across a range of conditions including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

A 2016 study of 46 people with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) found that 12 floatation sessions over 4 months reduced symptoms of GAD including depression, fatigue, and sleep issues and 37% reached full remission of GAD symptoms post-treatment.

A 2006 study investigated the long-term effects of floatation-REST 4 months after treatment. Participants with stress-related pain underwent 12 float sessions and found that floating reduced pain, stress, anxiety, and depression and this was maintained for 4 months after treatment.

A 2014 study looked at sensory isolation and floatation treatment as a preventive healthcare intervention. The study found that 12 float sessions over 7 weeks decreased stress, depression, anxiety, and pain in healthy volunteers.

One 2013 study assessed a single patient with PTSD, ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression who floated over 50 times for a year and a half. The floatation therapy improved quality of life, wellbeing, and healthy behaviour and there were no negative effects. The participant did not take any medication during the course of the therapy.

Whilst there needs to be further studies into whether floating can be used as an effective therapy for anxiety, these studies demonstrate the promising impact that floating can have on treating anxiety and mental health. This is evidence that floating is scientifically proven to have a positive impact on the mind.

This post was written by i-sopod, a revolutionary float pod manufacturer and market-leading supplier to float centres in the UK, USA, Europe and Australia.