Work experience again!

Earlier in the summer I did a work experience placement at a Law firm for five days. It was a 9-5 working day, which I must admit was tiring but something I must get used to!

Surprisingly I wasn't very nervous. This is unlike the previous year where I had work experience at another law firm and was quite nervous and where anxiety was rife at times. It was a very daunting experience, with the work being quite hands on. I worked on live cases, inquiries and worked in all departments of that firm. Each day was something new and different people to work with. There was no time to settle down and so every day was out of my comfort zone. I found the work I did very interesting, if a little nerve-wracking at times, but I knew I had to do my best to adapt to the situation I was in and I am very proud that I have done it. I have learnt a lot and also gained in confidence. I feel privileged that I got the opportunity and it has also shown me what I am capable of. Only a year ago, my anxiety was severely increased to what I felt earlier this Summer. 

You will get there!

Amy Xx

Everything is on your terms

I find as an anxiety sufferer, that we often think of the worst that can happen and how out of control things could become. This is the nature of the illness. And even though there are things we cannot change, such as the time, family and weather, there are billions of things that can be changed and can be controlled.

At the height of my anxiety, I felt a severe lack of control with the thought that I had no capability at doing anything and everything would go wrong. However, as of the past year I have taken a different outlook. I have understood and practiced that everything is on my terms and it helps me to stay in control and for my anxiety to reduce. For example, if I am in a driving lesson and I want to end it, I can simply state that. If I am working in the charity shop and I feel an urgency to leave, I can ask, if I am on a bus, I can get off and If I am at a party and want to leave, I can get a taxi home. It's all about understanding that in every situation, you have the ability and right to do what you want to do to make yourself most comfortable and to know you are empowered to make these decisions (to the extent of not hurting those around you of course!) I think if you wake up everyday with the understanding that you are in control of whatever comes your way, you will be able to reduce the anxiety and this is what I keep in mind all of the time. Why not try it? In fact, this particular picture is stuck on my wall to remind me!

Amy Xx

The charity shop

For those of you who have kept up to date with my twitter, you'll know that I worked in a charity shop over the Summer. I also did a weeks work experience in a law firm, which I will go into more detail later.

Working in a shop was something I never thought I would do. Once upon a time, I got severe panic attacks any time that I went into a shop and asked for a job or I just couldn't step foot into the shop to ask - my body just froze. But, as of recently I have grown in confidence and applied to work in the charity shop. Working in the shop has grown my confidence with the tasks I had to complete including serving customers, sorting out donations and organising displays. 

I finally felt that the time had come that I felt comfortable enough to be able to control my anxiety to an extent to which was manageable. It turns out that after years of panicking, I was calm and collected when applying and when working there; taking everything in my stride. I am proud of how far I have come in terms of my job anxiety, and I hope to continue through the stages and get a paid job next year. It is completely out of my comfort zone, but I knew it was something I needed to do and I am glad and proud that I have. 

What other people are doing at my age is not for me to compare. Although many of my peers have had jobs for years, they may not have dealt with the severity of a mental illness. Therefore if you don't feel ready yet, that is okay. You are on your own journey.

Let's keep kicking the anxiety!,

Amy Xx