Self harm advice

This post is following on from my previous one giving an introduction to self harm, which you can read, here. This time round, I'm going to share with you some advice of perhaps other coping techniques, or how to deal with self harm itself.

• Talk - talking is always key. If you have someone to whom you can share how you're feeling with, I believe the chances of self-harming reduces because the intensity that you're feeling should lessen. You also know that you have that support around you.

• Find your own techniques - Self harm for me tends to be something that can happen when you can't find any other way to release the tension and to not take part in it, can require a lot of will power. But to try and avoid it - try to do things such as going outside, doing kick boxing, mindfulness, talking and so forth. Give yourself the image of how you would feel afterwards.

• Thinking - If you have the urge to self harm, try to give yourself some breathing time to consider whether you really want to go down that route or not. Giving yourself this time can mean that you don't harm myself in the end.

• Care - If you do find yourself self-harming, don't feel ashamed. It doesn't mean that you have taken a few steps back, it just means you needed to do something to get rid of the pain you were feeling. Of course, embarking on less harmful ways of reliving pain is something to work on. Make sure that you look after any wounds, and give yourself some time to heal afterwards. 

You can find Mind's self harm advice, here.

I hope this has helped in some way. If you have any other advice, please leave a comment below.

Best Wishes,

Amy Xx 

Early intervention

I cannot stress this enough. Early intervention is so important. As people say 'old habits die hard' and this true in terms of mental illness. As years go by, the more you will reinforce your actions, thought patterns and reactions. This in turn, makes it harder for you to break them. I know that this is true for myself. I had been using the same safety behaviours for many years and I had the same thought patterns, kind of being stuck at at young age whilst growing older. In this way, I had felt too young and anxious to drive, to have a job, to catch a bus and so on. But, with proper counselling and CBT I am finally getting to a point where I have almost retrained my thought patterns, so that I think and react in different ways. I know that this would have been easier many years earlier, but I didn't know I had a problem with my mental health for many years. For those that do, it's so important that you get help as early as possible. Don't get me wrong, the mental health services we have here in the UK are pretty poor, but that doesn't mean that you should be put off by a doctor who doesn't understand or a long waiting list - I have been there. The longer you rely on your old ways, the more ingrained it becomes and the harder it is to get out of it. That doesn't mean that you won't, it just might take you longer. 

I so wish that there better mental health services, so we could nip the problem in the bud before it even begins to grow. Imagine, if even children could be taught about mental health and have access to someone who they could talk to at such a young age. I feel the problems could be lessened, so that it wouldn't necessarily be as of a big problem as they got older. Even though the mental health services aren't amazing, talking, doing your own CBT, and even going down to your local GP are all steps in the right direction and I strongly encourage those struggling to take a stand and take a step towards their recovery. It's not easy, but it's definitely worth it. 

You can get there. 

Best Wishes,
Amy Xx

Something my counsellor has taught me...

Everything we experience makes us who we are. For some of us, certain parts of our lives affect us more than others and become a strong part of our habits and subconscious thoughts. As many of you know, a part of my childhood still lives with me in my daily life and I tend to rely on that mindset when I am uncomfortable or anxious. However, this kind of behaviour is not useful for me because I am not a young child any more. I don't want to be stuck with the low confidence level and worried reactions that I had when I was that age. For example, when I am driving alone I have the voice in my head that I am not old enough to do it and this is the voice I have doing a range of challenging things, purely because I had a trauma at a young age and it's almost like I am stuck in time. This voice, is not the voice of a 20 year old, but of my former self. It's strange how traumas can still make you act in certain ways. But this is normal for people who go through problems like this because you have lived like that for so long. In my case, it must be around 13 years of reinforcing those voices and habits!

My counsellor showed me a few diagrams, which showed me how we have a parental part of us, an adult part of us (our current state) and our child self and all three parts make up who we are today. These three parts are split up further into sections, and for some of us, one section will be stronger that another. In my case, my child state is strongest with criticism (probably because I felt I needed to be in control at that age)  and my parent state is strongest for nurturing over others (because I certainly give myself a really hard time!) The aim for me to increase the nurturing of myself and to give myself an easier time and weaken the subconscious voice of my younger self, because I'm not her any more. I'm an adult who is fully capable to take on what ever comes my way. 

I hope this make sense! 
Amy Xx