3 tips to stop irrational thoughts

I'm no expert, but I have picked up some tips over the years which have helped me to control my irrational fears and thoughts. After all, anxiety is mainly caused by the irrational fears that float through our heads. Below I have listed my personal top tips to try and stop irrational thoughts in their tracks:

1. Before and after - this was a CBT technique that I was taught. Still to this day, I struggle with health anxiety and even asking for things. To overcome such irrational thoughts that I would become ill with eating certain foods, or do something utterly stupid when I asked for something, I first wrote down before what I thought would happen if I was to ask for something, or to eat something and give it a rating out of ten as to how anxious it made me. After the event, I would then write down how it actually went and an anxiety raiting out of ten. It made me realise that we often think things to be worse than they actually are. 

2. Mindfulness - I bet you hear this everywhere, right? But it can help. Mindfulness helps to clear your mind and just focus on the here are now to bring your anxieties down calmly. if you feel that your head is racing away, try some simple breathing techniques and focusing your mind to one place.

3. Reality - often it's hard to split what is rational from what is irrational. But, if we really take the time to think about the scenario, we will often find that the chances of the dreaded situation happening is few and far between. If I eat a yoghurt, the chances of me becoming ill from it, is very slim and if I ask for something and stutter, the ground isn't going to fall from beneath my feet. No one is perfect, and yet we expect ourselves to act in that way. This is simply not the case; we all stutter and make mistakes. It's all part of being human.

I know it's not easy as the battle in our minds can be a huge challenge. But with time and will power you will be able to see the difference.

Best Wishes,

What mental illness has taught me ft. YOU!

A while ago now, I asked the people of twitter what their mental illness journey has taught them. The responses are as follows:

"Taught me that I'm stronger than I ever realised. Fought my way back. I'm not 100% ok but I'm a long way from where I was."

"My mental health has taught me to understand myself and be patient with myself. Not to judge by others standards."

"To accept that is is ok to not be ok and to not rush through recovery but allow time to heal you."

"There is nothing 'wrong' with me and I don't need to be 'fixed'. Support and time helped me so much."

"Never give up because things do eventually get better, it will take time, but you will have happy days eventually."

"Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. It's okay to feel this way. It WILL get better."

"I've become a more sensitive, caring and patient individual."

"Used to think people with mental illness were just in need of attention. Now I know for sure it needs attention!"

My mental illness journey has taught me resilience; that although we feel that we cannot live for another moment, the strength we all hold is immense. It's taught me that a support network is key, and  who really is there for me in my times of need. It's taught me that getting help for mental health is hard, but the continued search is definitely worth it. I am not alone and attitudes are changing on a daily basis, to an outlook that is more positive.

What have you learnt through your journey? Leave a comment below.

Best Wishes,

Dear future me

I was inspired to write a letter to my future self that I would open upon graduation from university.

Dear future Amy,

You’ve finally made it and you never believed you could. You completed the degree that you had been planning for years; you’ve graduated! People always talk about the amount of debt it costs, but the experience that you’ve gained is priceless and even so, there are many organisations out there who can support you. If you’re concerned with the costs, you can always ask counselors about scholarship opportunities, or consider researching alternative ways to save money after college like refinancing debt. Pricelessness has no limit, and for not one moment do I expect that you regret your decision to go to university. Laying on your bedroom floor, in the dark all those years ago, with not even an ounce of hope to hold on to, did you ever imagine yourself to be stood in your graduation gown accepting your degree in front of hundreds of people - I’m so proud! 

Anxiety and depression sucked the life out of you, but it didn’t beat you. Sitting in various different doctors and therapists offices, being drained of the same answers to the questions you always had to answer about your anxiety, depression and suicidal tendencies, from watching people go to school and learning to drive, even though it crippled you to walk out of the door and in the darkest of days, when one breath seemed a conscious choice, you carried on. Going to university was the change that you needed and you grabbed the opportunity with both hands. You worked hard to get your degree and receive mental health support that you needed, from continuing with your medication to having the best mental health mentor that anyone could wish for - not to mention the immense support from family and friends which you are ever so lucky to have. You’ve created some fantastic memories with lifelong friends and had some experiences that you will never ever forget; from staying up until daylight, going to night clubs with the majority of your accommodation, walks with your flatmates, indoor cricket, late night talks and finding your first love, just mention a few. 

You could honestly say without a doubt, that it has been the best experience of your life and one you’ll wish to revisit for many years to come. Although at times it has been hard, because you’ve constantly been battling the demons, you’ve bounced back. Each time you’ve gotten stronger and faced bigger and better things, from getting your first paid job, to becoming the president of your university’s mental health society. It’s taught you so much, from budgeting and how to cook (or not as the case may be!), how to look after yourself, pay bills and rent and led you onto getting your first rented flat outside of student life. I know you're sad to see it go, but I know you are moving onto to greater things. As you are travelling back to your hometown, I know you’re going to be questioning what’s going to happen next. Perhaps you’re feeling like you’re having a mini-life crisis! You’re thinking about how you’re going to afford your rented flat, or be able to find a job, praying that your anxiety doesn’t become overwhelming, or perhaps thinking about how you’re going to cope with such a big change or deal with the financial worries of the possibility of working in London. But it’s okay, you’re going to handle it like you have with everything else, with strength and passion. Hindsight is a great thing, but unfortunately we cannot tell what’s going to happen in the future, so you’ve just go to keep moving forward with the knowledge that you have at that time.

Now that you’re leaving, just take a moment to look back at that little nine-year old girl who thought the world was all going to be too much. Brush off her shoulders and tell her, she is going to make through and get to university and achieve everything she has wanted. I know you have never felt that you had that capability within you, but you have and always will. At times you were upset that you didn’t join the rowing society, or missed the odd night out, but that was what you felt you could handle at the time, and that is okay. You took up the opportunities when you felt you had it within you to do so and that is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all on a different journey. 

We are all capable. Mental illness may be something that is within us, but it is not something that defines us.

Congratulations,