Mental illness is NOT an excuse.

Mental illness is not an excuse. How many times have you heard that?


If you don't turn up to work, you're lazy.
If you're not listening, you're rude.
If you're short tempered, you're selfish.
If you don't want to go out, you're boring.
If you're upset, you're sensitive. 

...and in many situations in life, that may well be the case. But mental illness can make us come across in particular ways but are actually symptoms of the illness we are dealing with.

Many years ago when I couldn't go to school, I remember being called lazy because I never attended when in fact I was in the midst of severe anxiety and depression. Rather than Mental illness being an invalid excuse, it is in fact a valid reason. 

If I don't turn up to work, I'm actually struggling with depression and I'm not lazy.
If I'm not listening, I'm dissociating and I promise I'm not intentionally being rude.
If I'm short tempered, I didn't get any sleep because of my depression and I'm stressed.
If I don't want to go out, it's because I can't move my legs due to my anxiety.
If I'm upset, it's because I am feeling hopeless and suicidal.

On the other end of the spectrum, mental illness really isn't just an excuse. Mental illness isn't just something you can pluck out of thin air and use as an excuse to some of your negative actions. Regardless of whether you have mental illness or not, being intentionally selfish or rude is not something you can support by the fact that you have a mental illness. I In the same way, every time you are sad or angry doesn't necessarily mean it's related to your depression, it could simply be part of a normal human emotion.

Similarly, using conditions in relation to mental illness as adjectives for a reason as to why you are acting in a particular way isn't appropriate either. It can invalidate others' experiences and also make it harder for people to be open as more people will view mental illness are crying wolf rather than seeing it as a real, pertinent issue. If you really feel that you are going through a difficult experience and are struggling with your mental health, going to the doctors is the forward step.

Remember to be proud of who you are and the conditions you deal with. Never feel ashamed if your mental illness is making you come across in a particular way because those who understand will know that it is just part of the symptoms of your conditions.

Calm in the palm of your hand | AD

Breathing techniques have always been a recommendation by doctors and practitioners for anxiety for many years and a good one at that. Yes, it isn't a cure but meditation and breathing techniques tend to help to calm you down in times of stress and panic attacks. During the various panic attacks that I've had, I have always used breathing techniques; from following imaginary shapes in my mind, counting numbers or copying someone else which has helped to calm my breathing and heart rate back down to normal.

I was recently introduced to a product that could help me as well as yourself, to do just that. Let's face it, trying to focus on breathing when you've been triggered and are having a panic attack is not an easy thing to do. But what if there was something to help you during your time of distress? Some people use cigarettes to focus on to calm down and as I said earlier, I usually try to focus on numbers. Whichever method you choose the undermining thing is to focus on is breathing. Calmigo is a product that can help you with your breathing during times of distress without having to try hard to concentrate. I myself have already used it and it definitely helps.

I'd describe Calmigo as somewhat of an exhaler. The key is that you mainly exhale into the product. As you do this the lights on the Calmigo will turn blue according to how long and steady you exhale. The aim is to keep these blue lights on so you are seen to exhale for long enough. As well as this, the product incorporates aromatherapy. When I was younger, I had a lavender spray that I would put on my pillow to help me sleep and this has a similar idea. It suggests for you inhale through your nose so that you can smell the lavender scent that you attach to the product. This alongside your slow and steady breathing accompanied by the machine should help you to reach your ultimate breathing rate. The Calmigo also learns your breathing technique and can vibrate when you have exhaled enough - that way you're able to get used to what the right breathing rate is for you.

I have used the machine myself and it is really easy to use. Focusing on the blue dots helped me to understand whether I was exhaling for long enough and steadily enough. The aromatherapy was also really helpful in adding that sense of calm, as lavender is known it's ability to help calm. After using this regularly and when needed for a few minutes at a time I think I would definitely feel a lot calmer and learn about my breathing. Of course I guess people could say; 'well what's the difference to counting your breathing and doing it on your own?'. As I have said, I believe the aromatherapy aspect and the physical guidance, gives the user something to focus on, smell and be a bit of a help during a time of need. It also adapts to your use in real time and this is the difference between just simple breathing techniques and the device, in that it adapts to you. It also comes with a one year warranty and can last for years! You can take it anywhere and is simple to use. I haven't found any issues with the product and will be using it as part of my meditation.

Of course before you use any product make sure you inform a health professional if you have any concerns. Calmigo have their own website where you can order one yourself or read more into the product, here.

My depression story

I first remember feeling severely depressed during my GCSE's when I must've been around fourteen. I'm also pretty sure that was around the age I first tried to end my life. 

I was an extremely happy child and I loved life. I was also a very shy child, but that never really bothered me because I had good friends and a great family. When my family fell apart when I was around eight years old, mental illness did begin to creep in with OCD behaviours and severe anxiety. I'd say I was sad and angry during this time, but I was still happy. I wouldn't say I was depressed.

Throughout the years running up to my GCSE's, I had experienced mental illness but I didn't know that's what it was. I thought the behaviours I was expressing were completely normal but I know now that they weren't. GCSE's came around and it became too much. I was being constantly picked on at school and the pressure of being a high achiever, alongside my family falling apart, felt like my whole world was drowning and that's when my depression journey began and almost ended.

In the following years my depression played a huge part in my life, especially through my A-levels when I had my breakdown and my anxiety and poor mental health became severe. I was self-harming and often had suicidal tendencies and thoughts. I wasn't eating, I couldn't get out of bed to go to school and I just wanted to end the nightmare that was in. I won't go into too much more detail about my whole journey now because you can read more about my mental health journey in a different post, here. 

I got to university and I felt like my depression had finally left me. But I did have moments when I felt like I was drowning and losing my mind. I did find myself on the odd occasion falling back into my own habits. I think this was even more so because everyone had the ideology that university was meant to be one the happiest times of your life and yet there I was barely able to get out bed and having no lust for life whatsoever. Going back home during the holidays whilst I was attending university was probably the hardest challenge and the times when I did become quite sick, especially in the Summer months. I just didn't feel that I could handle the environment I was in anymore and just wanted to get back to university, which was like an escape, for various different reasons. But overall university was probably the best time for my mental health.

After graduating from university and having to do a year in a dead end job and being back home, my mental health did take quite the dive. And although I transgressed into my dream career a year later, the first six months of that was what I could only describe as traumatic. This wasn't because of the career itself, but because of all the things that were going on around me.

As you can probably tell, depression is a rollercoaster and just because you have a depressive episode doesn't mean that you're going backwards. You've just got to hold onto the cart and keep going no matter how much you feel like you want to get off. As well as this, please make sure you are reaching out to people and talking because bottling up will always cause more damage than good.