I've spoken so much about mental health over the past few years that you'd think that I'd be totally comfortable with the notion - and it's fair to say that I am. I'm not ashamed of it and I'm certainly not afraid at speaking out about it to raise awareness. I'm quite happy to share advice from my personal experience and help others with tips and tricks that have helped me. However, I feel my words don't seem to touch the people who are closest to me. Over the years, many friends and family members have opened up about their struggles with mental health which is great.
The other day however, my friend had told me that they had just been put on medication and had been struggling with anxiety and depression. She was always the friend that I thought would be okay, but it just shows that anyone can be affected. She was clearly upset at the time and I could just tell how low she was and how raw the illness was at that time. It's strange though, because it was so raw it made it harder for me to find the words. I think it's because I knew exactly how she felt and how I only could hope that I could drag her out of what she was feeling. I almost felt as if I knew that whatever I said wouldn't make things better there and then. All I could do was comfort and explain that things do get better, to ask more about any support, friends and family, how she was feeling and that I have been there too. Perhaps that was all I was meant to say, but I felt much less confident in my replies.
It's important to remember that there is no right way to comfort someone who is going through mental health struggles, but it is important to be sensitive, responsive and compassionate. When someone is in the midst of the most severe days of their illness, it does feel hard to find the words to help them through, but you just need to let them know that you are there for them and suggest any help that they can get. It's when we don't support each other that we can slip through the cracks. Talking about the most important things in life are going to be hard, especially if it takes you by surprise but it is key that the opportunity isn't missed.
How do you feel are the best ways to talk?
I'll be honest, I can't stand it when I go to see a doctor about my mental health and the first thing they say to me is; 'have you tried exercise?' Now I know that they're not trying to do any harm, but from personal experience and from hearing many other people's stories, exercise is not the answer to a mental health condition. In fact when you're in a dark depressive episode and you exercise I don't find that it helps me much, if I can even get out of the door at all.
However I have included exercise into my daily routine for a few years now and although it isn't a cure, it can make you feel a lot better. I have found that exercise too much can give you the opposite effect of what you want it to have, but including exercise into your daily routine can make you feel more awake and happier in yourself, as well of all of the benefits inside that you don't see.
What I don't agree with is people thinking that exercise is the answer to all mental health conditions, because it's not. But I do think including it somewhere in your week will make you feel a little better. Exercise can be hard, but you can also make it fun and meet new people. You don't have try and be an athlete - working at your own pace is good enough to feel the endorphins!
Let me know what you think,
Here I have consolidated some basic recourses and advice for your information to help you with your mental health recovery.
1. Charities - There are some key charities that I have been in contact with when I have needed help or information. A lot of them also have online counsellors or chat lines if you are in need:
- Mind - www.mind.org.uk
- Relate - www.relate.org.uk
- Samaritans - www.samaritans.org
- Time To Change - www.time-to-change.org.uk
- NSPCC - www.nspcc.org.uk
2. Doctors - Your best resource is to go and see a professional who can hopefully refer you to someone with specialist knowledge. I know going to the doctors is hard, but it is the most important step to take. If at first you don't succeed then try again until someone understands you. Seeing your doctor can open up so many doors.
3. Talk - If you feel like you're not ready to talk to your doctor and even if you already have, make sure you have some people you can talk to about the problems you are going through, whether that be friends, family or someone over the internet. Don't be put off if someone doesn't understand at first as there will always be someone who does. Together, you can work to find the best solution.
4. Mindfulness - It may not be the cure to your problem, but by taking ten minutes out of your day to just breathe and do absolutely nothing, can clear your mind to help you deal with your problems with more ease. Similarly, writing may help.
5. Counsellors - I always think that everyone should have a counsellor because we all need some guidance sometimes. If possible, try and search the web or ask at your doctors as to what services are available on the NHS. If this is not possible, then try and search for private counsellors. These people can be your saviours.
