If you were struggling with your mental health...

Yesterday, I asked for the help of the lovely people of twitter. I wanted to make a blog post to show others that they are not alone in their battle against mental health and thankfully, quite a few people were very supportive. They all completed the sentence "If you were suffering from mental health, I would..." Before I write the answers, please don't forget to share this with someone who needs it. Often, reading that so many people offer support is just what people need.

 If you were struggling with your mental health, I would...

Reach out to someone close to you and have hope - Emma Wakeling

Talk to people, true friends will understand - Nigel Moore

Acknowledge that it's a real illness and try not to feel ashamed or weak. Also, be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself - Scarlett Curtis

Talk to someone and don't shut close family and friends out - Miss B

Stand by you no matter what - Starlet Survivor

Tell you that you will get better - Pete Cropley

Talking is the best therapy. Find someone you trust and tell them how you are feeling. A problem shared in a problem halved. - Kb

Hug you and tell you are not alone. - Emmie Lou

Always talk about how I am feeling with close family and friends - S Harte-Latremouille

Offer you a listening ear or a hug. Or both - Jen

Give you time to talk - Teresa Tinsel

Approach somebody about it, speaking about it has changed my life! Don't suffer in silence, you don't deserve to - Anna

Tell you that you are not alone and I will listen. Talking about it decreases the hold it has on you.

Don't blame yourself. Be kind to yourself, relief will come soon enough. - Noll

Listen. Be there. Bring cupcakes (I bake when I don't know how to help) and make tea - Kim

Tell you that I understand and am here for you - Kendra Kantor

Say never hide how you truly feel to enable you to get the help you need - Heart of Totnes

I'd say don't suffer in silence, talk about it, seek help otherwise your problems will only exacerbate - Blue Belle

Try to understand - Duncan green

I would tell you that everyone suffers differently. Don't feel like a failure is your symptoms aren't "textbook" - Jeni Smith

I would get a friend to help you or family, it worked for me - Mary Scales

Offer you unconditional support - Adam Male

Do what I could to help. Give you a big hug until it stopped hurting - Miss Laurie Aschcroft

Hold your hand - Marty

Please believe the people who tell you like will get better - Carrie

Don't be afraid to talk to friends - Noll

Do my best to understand - Debbie Blythe

I would eat a piece of chocolate and check in with my support system - LasMesha

I hope this has helped you in some way. If it has, please share it. Remember that you're never alone, what you've just read is a prime example!

Best Wishes,

How do I talk to someone?

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll know that I encourage talking about mental health as the best route to recovery. However, I know this is easier said than done and I know that talking about your problems with mental health can be very difficult. Therefore, I've compiled a list of a few things that may help you:

1. Letter - Often we have the words to say, but we just can't bring ourselves to say them aloud. By writing a letter, it may be easier for you to tell someone about the issues you are facing and give the other person time to reply.

2. Trust - It's always easier to talk to someone who you know really well and trust. You know that these people will support you with whatever you will tell them. "A problem shared, is a problem halved" Therefore, you'll not only find it easier to talk to them, but it may give you the courage to talk to other people who you are close to in your life.

3. Research - Unfortunately, mental health isn't as understood as we'd all like it to be. However, there are ways you can help. It will become easier for the other person to understand if you have some information to help you explain the condition. You can find this information from the doctors, charities, the internet and of course your own experience!

4. You're the same - Keep in mind that you're still the same as you were before you had told this person about your mental health. You haven't changed, you just have to battle something extra in your everyday life. Perhaps explaining this to the person, may help them to understand and support you; you're still the person they've always known.

5. Walk and talk - Try to find the best way for you to tell the person. Perhaps it's easier to go on a walk and have a catch up with a friend, or it's easier to have a cup of tea and tell them face to face, perhaps telling them online; whatever is best for you. It's important that you try to find a way in which you feel comfortable and at a time when you feel ready.

Generally speaking, people saw the changes mental illness were having on me and thus it was hard to hide. On the other hand, for those I managed to keep it quiet from, I managed to have a general catch up with them in person, rather than online or by sitting them down. I found it easier to tell them straight away, as excuses only made it harder for me tell them what was really going on.

I hope these tips have helped. Everyone is different, so the method you have used may not be on this list. If you have used a different method, then please let me know in the comments below. Take your time.

Perhaps this video may help you:

Best Wishes,

The Liebster Award...

Hello guys! today's post is about the Liebster award that I have been nominated for by Leah from Keep Calm & Say yes - Thank you!

The rules:

• Link back to the person that nominated you & answer the 11 questions which they have asked you on their blog post.

• Choose 11 people to nominate for the Liebster award and let them know that they have been nominated. But you can't choose the person who nominated you!

• Ask your chosen 11 nominees questions.

• Add the Liebster award badge to your blog.

Leah's 11 Questions:

1. What inspired you start your blog?

I have always enjoyed blogging and writing. However, when I began to suffer with anxiety I felt really alone. I decided to start a blog to share my stories and help others and so far I'm really enjoying it.

2. Do you know any other languages?

Yes, I am currently studying German at A-level, so I know a fair bit of German although I wouldn't say that I'm an expert in any way!

3. If you could travel to anywhere right now, where would you go?

I'd quite like to go to America.

4. Do you have any pets?

No, unfortunately not.

5. What colour is your bedroom?

Blue and cream.

6. Favourite type of music?

I like all music, ranging from classical to rock and from the 1920's to now. I'm quite a big fan of electronica music and acoustic.

7. Last book you read?

I think I began to read the 'Fault in our stars' by John Green. I've only read the first chapter so far.

8. Last holiday you went on or do you have any planned?

Last year I went to Gran Canaria, but no holidays planned this year.

9.Would you describe yourself as laid back or energetic? 

That's difficult. I can be quite lazy, but I do enjoy sports and meeting friends. I'm not laidback with school work; I can be quite a worrier.
10. Favourite outfit you own and where is it from?

That's really difficult; it depends what mood I'm in. I suppose it would have to be a pair of black jeans (New Look), a chiffon top (River Island), boots (Amazon) and my tartan coat (Jane Norman). Something along those lines!

11. Favourite season?
Definitely Summer because it's (supposedly) warm, however I really love Christmas. Summer overall though.

My 11 questions for my nominees:
1. Favourite quote?
2. Favourite band/artist?
3. One of the nicest/best things that someone has said to you?
4. Your favourite upbeat happy song or your favourite sad song?
5. Favourite place you've visited?
6. A life lesson to share?
7. Something you would change in the world?
8. If you could meet anyone in the world, dead/alive, who would it be?
9. The thing that makes you happiest/keep positive?
10. Favourite sport & do you have any awards?
11. Best piece of advice to give to someone suffering with or trying to understand mental health issues?

I am nominating:
1. A Whole lot of chitty Chat
2. Kimi & Me
3. The Hopeful Hummingbird
4. Calm Kitchen
5. Ellen's OCD blog
6. Chloe has a Moustache
7.  Helena Loves
8. Finding Positives
9. Laura Lou Rambles With You
10.  Amy J Walters
11. Spotty sunflowers

Don't forget to contact me once you've answered your questions!

Best Wishes,

Society's construction

Life appears to revolve around society's expectations; what age you should get a job, the size of your body nd how you should act. Of course, there are laws to follow and things we need to do as humans, but for the most part, society is just a construction that for some reason many of us seem to follow.

I have spoken to many of my friends who think that just because another person has done something that society deems as 'grown up', they are better than them. Definitely not. People develop at different times and what one person may be able to do at the age of 18, another may not. There may not be the right circumstances nor may you feel confident enough. Nor is the action "grown up" in everyone's eyes.


As the years went on in secondary school, the more I saw those around me following the crowd, which is great if that's what makes you happy. But, I know there were many who were just doing it to please others, and I somewhat felt like a bit of an outcast. There was so much pressure to fit in and change appearance; do things that deep inside they didn't want to do. I can't deny it's hard not to bow down to peer pressure, but as time goes by you'll be glad you didn't; if you felt it wasn't right for you. 

If a person has gotten a job, for example, that's brilliant. However, not everyone will feel ready to get a job and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are just as good as everyone else. As my mum says "you have the same right as anyone else to be on this planet" 

I think it's a great accomplishment if you undertake what you want to do, whether that be increasing your self esteem or getting a job; whatever makes you happy. But society is a construct and remember to look at and understand yourself first. There are bigger things in life, than what people think. Try not to compare and feel disappointed if you're not with the rest. You'll get there in your own time.

As I have said before "don't spend time caring about others opinions of you, as it will only hinder your journey and not their own". I know that this can be very hard to put into practice, but once you do, you will be able to be more of your own person. I've never followed the crowd, and perhaps that's why I got teased a lot at school. But at the end of the day, I am happy I've stuck with what I've believed in.

I know that with disorders such as social anxiety, it can be very hard not to care about what others think of you, especially with the images we are bombarded with in the media. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, as social anxiety is something I'm battling myself. But, the less you care about what others think of you, the more you'll enjoy your life. You only have one life to do what you want to do, just don't let it be hindered by other people's thoughts; it's not worth it. Remember; you have the same rights as anyone else. Let's all undertake the challenge! Go for it. 

Best Wishes,

A whole lot of chitty chat

Hello guys! As you may know I have recently written a blog post for Anna from 'A Whole Lot Of Chitty Chat'. I thought it would be a good idea if Anna would write a blog post for my blog too, in the hope that it will help others in regards to what you're experiencing with anxiety, but also to let you know of a great blogger!

Hello Amy's lovely readers, by the looks of her twitter followers there could be a lot of you! I love reading Amy's blog & I can totally relate to her just like many others can too I'm sure :)

I approached Amy & asked her if she would like to do a post for my blog which she happily got involved in & sent me a post, which is now up over on my blog.

So now it is my turn, I didn't approach Amy with the hope that she would want me to do a post for her blog too, not at all. But I feel happy that she asked me to do one in return. I approached Amy in the hope she would say yes & so I could then help spread the word & share her blog with my readers.

So now we are on track & know what is going on, I'll tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Anna, I'm 21 & I blog over at A Whole Lot Of Chitty Chat. I started blogging at the start of this year when to be honest I felt very little purpose in my life. That was when my blog was created, I thought it would be a good place to share my thoughts. Then I actually started sharing my blog about a bit over on twitter & started gaining readers. Now I not only blog for myself but for others, others who probably like yourself feel so alone in your situation. You are never alone :)

Just like Amy, I suffer with anxiety. I first started noticing when I was around the age of 16/17. I know how hard life can be for those affected. You can feel so misunderstood, you can feel so alone. But that really doesn't have to be the case. You shouldn't have to suffer in silence either. If you don't feel comfortable speaking about your struggles openly, why not maybe start a blog anonymously just like Amy?

I think blogging is a great way to have a voice & a little place to build a friendship & become part of a community. I'm currently building friendships with a few lovely girls who also blog, it is fantastic!

I do blog mainly about mental health & the effect it has on my life but I now blog weekly about my driving lessons & do a post every Sunday called Sit Down Sunday which is where I just reflect on everything good about that week. For a little while I had a routine for the days of the week I would blog on but sometimes life is unexpected & changes. Plus having a routine kind of takes away the fun in blogging & just adds pressure! Pressure is not fun.

I'm going to leave my post at that & hope I haven't bored anyone to sleep. Oh & well done if you managed to read to the end. I feel that was really higgledy piggledy so I apologise :)

Thanks for having me over on your blog Amy & thanks to your readers for hopefully reading this post :)

Anna ♥

You can find me over on twitter @awholelotof_

Find my blog over at http://awholelotofchittychat.blogspot.co.uk/

If you do check out my blog leave me a little comment saying you've come from Amy's blog :)

Thank you Anna for writing. it just shows there are many people going through the same experience as you.

My phobia of school!

I am going to write in more detail about my severe battle with school to help others understand. I know from the outside, this 'fear' of school appears somewhat impossible. It can appear as if you're not bothered and that you're skipping school, but this is not true at all. 

I have always enjoyed school for as long as I can remember. I was also quite obsessive about school to the extent that I wouldn't miss a day of school. I wouldn't go on holiday and the only time I would ever take a day off is when I was really ill, but even then I would sometimes still go to school. I couldn't bare to take a day off in the fear I may miss something really important. My uniform was always correct and I would do and still do every single piece of work set, revision and extra study. Never in all my time at secondary school did I get a detention either, as I ensured I did every piece of work and behaved in class. Of course, I was teased quite a bit in school because of what I was like, but now I'm older it doesn't really bother me as I got the grades I deserved because of my attitude towards education. These grades are more important than ever bowing down to any peer pressure. So, now you can see why having a year off school (on and off) is not typical of me.


From around the age of 8, I began to have slight problems with school, however I would still go to school everyday and be just as dedicated. These problems I faced with school reduced quite a bit until I turned 17, almost 10 years later. 

One day I was walking to school and I got to the sixth form where I began to have a panic attack. I explained that I had to leave and walked home. From that day in January, I have never gone back to way I used be. From that day forward I became increasingly anxious towards school and had more negative thoughts in connection with school too. I felt like the world around me was falling apart. I knew that other areas of my life were being affected by anxiety and now it was affecting my education too. It just happened overnight. 

In January 2013 I had a breakdown and I couldn't face school at all. I had a mental block. The best way I can explain a mental block is through the following example: You're on top the empire state building. You have been ordered to jump off the building with no safety equipment and you know that you will die if you do so. The feeling you get when someone is trying to push you forward and you are resisting; that fear of your body screaming 'NO' is the fear I get every single day. The mental block makes it very hard mentally and physically to get out of the door.This mental block can also come and go throughout the school term, especially when I'm trying to get to school after a break. 

From that day in January, I have now been to school and on and off. I have had work sent home, teachers talking to me and phoning me, numerous sessions of counselling and CBT, medication and methods of coping. I have also been given leeway as to being allowed to arrive to school later, separate rooms for my exams and being able leave if I need to. This has helped me a lot! 

So, what exactly happens? Every day of school, I often have a bad nights sleep. This often means restless or little sleep. I wake up with absolute dread, fear, exhaustion and lack of motivation. I feel really ill; like I'm going to be sick. I feel tired and fed up. Before I go to school, I often begin to breathe rapidly, my heart is racing and adrenaline is rushing. This is typical of the flight or fight system and is where the problem lies. Firstly, this makes you very tired and second of all, these feelings of being ill makes you believe you are ill and so you feel you can't leave the house. My legs are heavy and I feel as if there is a brick wall in front of me. My Mum will try absolutely everything to get me out of the door, from persuasion to reassurance. Once I'm in the car, I will often put up quite a fight to not get out of the car due to the fear being so massive. I will say and do anything to get out of the situation. The majority of days I will just sit outside of the school gates as the power of my anxiety is too overwhelming to do otherwise. However, there are days when I will be able to understand my anxiety and get to school. Once I'm in the school gates, the feeling of sickness and panic will be with me for at least half an hour until it begins to reduce and my symptoms begin to subside. However, these can come back throughout the day. I'm sure you can imagine how depressing and hellish this would be; feeling ill, exhausted, not looking forward to going to school, people being disappointed, people being stressed and missing out on memories.

The thing with anxiety is that you might as well be in prison. You spend days on end inside a house going through torture through your own head. The worst bit is that you haven't done anything wrong. You look out of your window, and you see people going to school and you're stuck in the house. You can't even get an education or do what you love.

"You know this fear is irrational, right?" I know full well that school is just a building with amazing and supportive people inside, but for some reason my body will just go into a complete irrational state. It's so hard to explain. If I could leave the house, I would. But again it is the irrational fear. Firstly, it's the worry that I am going to be ill and secondly I can also have a mental block as mentioned above. It so frustrating as it can be so debilitating to the extent that you cannot walk towards the door. 

I know from the outside, it seems completely stupid but it is something I have to battle and is very real. I continue to work extremely hard outside of school to maintain my grades. You have to show people that you can still accomplish what you want in life.

Best Wishes and keep fighting!

Diary of Anxiety

This isn't usually the type of post that I would write, but I'm hoping it will still be beneficial. There are so many people out there that don't understand anxiety and it's true to say, it will never be completely understood unless you have experienced it yourself. I hope that for the sufferers of the condition you will be able to relate to this somehow and for others, I'm hoping you understand how hard it can be for some people.

A diary of anxiety

Different aspects of your life will be affected depending on what type of anxiety you have and how severe it is. For those who suffer with severe anxiety, life can be a living hell and it is with you 24/7. 

Sometimes it will be present in your sleep. Your body will be preparing for the day ahead with the flight or fight response. This means one of two things; either interrupted sleep, or feeling tired when waking up. From the moment you wake, anxiety takes action with adrenaline rushing through your veins. You wake up everyday feeling ill because your body has heightened anxiety due to the daily tasks you have to complete, such as going to school or catching public transport. 

You've put up with this anxiety for a long time now and it's tiring. You feel ill when you wake, so you don't feel like doing much. You don't feel like putting makeup on or putting more effort into the way you dress. You can only eat little, because your anxiety is just too bad and you're always exhausted. You just want to stay in a safe place, where you can be calm for a while. For many people; this is home. 

Your anxiety is so crippling and disabling that it stops you from doing anything that you love. You get heightened anxiety any time you try to attempt to do something, which often ends in a panic attack or avoidance. As a result, you end up staying at home; again. Everything in your life is constant battle with your brain. You struggle and often avoid school, public transport, driving lessons, getting a job, joining a club and speaking in front of class. 
You try with every inch of your body and all of your might, to complete a simple task as to catch a bus, but it often results in hours of emotional and physical pain and angst about the thought. 

You're always told not to compare yourself to others but sometimes you can't help but notice the people around you. When you see other people your age with jobs, going to school without a second thought and driving, you can't help but feel a little bit hopeless.

It's all well and good saying that you are in control of your destiny, but when it seems you have a great brick wall in front of your every step, your legs are heavy and you feel like you're wading through thick mud, it's extremely hard to believe. But then you wake up one morning feeling okay and this is a very rare occasion but you're feeling good. You manage to overcome some of your fears and at the end of the day you feel ecstatic. You know that this is a taste of what life should be and could be like. You feel as if you've crawled out of this deep dark hole and seen the light. You know recovery isn't going to be easy, but it's the good days you've got to hold on to. You know that even if the crippling anxiety comes back the next day, you've experienced some sort relief.

Recovery

Recovery: 'return to normal state: the return of something to a normal or improved state after a setback or loss.'

Recovery begins from the day you feel you are suffering. The day you take action and control of your situation is the day you go on the road to recovery.

A first thing to note about recovery is that it takes time. Recovery can take weeks, months or even years. For me, it's taken over a year so far and I'm still going strong! Don't rush your recovery as your body knows what's right for you.
One day you may wake up and feel like you have the ability to tackle the thing you've always been scared of. It will happen. Other tasks may take a while to accomplish. 

Overcoming anxiety is also based upon repetition. With anxiety, your body may feel there is a danger whenever you try certain tasks such as going to school or catching a bus. Tackling the thing you fear, can take a while, but don't fret as It does get better -  just think of my recovery process! At first I couldn't leave the house and now I am slowly getting back into school - which is my biggest anxiety trigger. I've got a while to go yet, but you must take it slowly.

I wish I could tell you recovery is easy, but there will be bumps in the road. I wish the same as you, that I could do what I wanted when I wanted, but my anxiety tends to get in the way. Many people use the term good days and bad days and this is completely normal. For me, today is a bad day. But, I am not deterred. I know that not everyday will be good, but you must think of everything you have achieved so far.

A positive thing about recovery is knowing that you're becoming a stronger and better person. The things you tackle which seems big to you, such as catching a bus can make you feel amazing after you've accomplished it. You get such a buzz from doing something you fear.

I wish you all the best and remember you've got this. People have been through this before and managed to get back to full health. You're not alone.

What help is available? Extra Support

Here are just a few extra tips to help you if you feel you are suffering with a mental illness, such as anxiety.

1. Friends and Family
It's always great to have someone to talk to if you feel you are suffering from a mental illness. One of the best ways you can handle the situation is to talk and The Time to Change campaign gives tips on how to start a conversation about mental illness. 

I'm sure you will be surprised by the response of your family and friends - in a positive way, just like I was. I know it can be extremely hard to talk about it, however I would really advise you to start the conversation which will change your life and get you onto the road to recovery. Many people are reluctant to speak about their issues which can be problematic. I don't know your family or situation - you may not feel close to them, or don't feel you can trust them. I'd still advise to find just one person in your life, whether that be your Mum, Dad, Sister, Brother, Grandparent, Auntie, Uncle, Cousin, Friend or even someone working for a charity.

2. YouTube
The internet is such a widespread recourse and we tend to use it in everyday life. While I was suffering from my mental breakdown and anxiety a few months ago and even now, YouTube has been a great support. At the time I was going through therapy and I thought I was the only one to ever suffer from anxiety, however I went on YouTube and just happened to find others who are just like myself.


Please, please talk to someone about your mental illness. I cannot stress it enough. After you've spoken to someone about it; whether that be a friend, family member or charity worker you have already started on your way to recovery. Then you can go to the GP who will be able to put you into the right direction to help you on your way.

"It seems impossible until it's done"