Control worrying

Whenever someone thinks of anxiety, the first thing that usually comes to the mind is 'worry'. Yes, it is true that most of us anxiety sufferers worry, but not all in the way you'd expect. There are so many types of anxiety disorders that people's worries can come in all shapes and forms, whether that's through health anxiety or panic disorder and there may be certain triggers. But, even if this is the case; everyday we are prone to worry and many people have asked me how best to stop worrying, so I have compiled a few tips that may help you:

1. Write down your worries - writing you problems down not only relieves the stress, but if you organise them too, you can start a plan of action to combat your troubles.

2. One day at a time - often when you look at the big picture, you will start to become overwhelmed; I know the feeling! Thus, by taking one day at at time; organising that day and only focusing on what you are capable of doing in that day, you will be in control.

3. Talking - often when you talk to someone else about a problem, they may have a few wise words which may help you see things in a different light. I understand that not everyone has somebody to talk to, but there are charities if you feel you can talk to no one else.

4. Yoga - This may not be for you, but I often find that when you do yoga, you can have some piece of mind for a few minutes. Alongside this, you will be able to relax.

5. Understand - the most important, but perhaps hardest thing to grasp is that worrying doesn't change a thing. A very famous speech titled 'Wear Sunscreen' noted "worrying is as useful as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum". In other words, it doesn't change a thing. There are absolutely no benefits from worry. Thus, it might be better to go with the flow.

Best Wishes,

My phobia of school!

I am going to write in more detail about my severe battle with school to help others understand. I know from the outside, this 'fear' of school appears somewhat impossible. It can appear as if you're not bothered and that you're skipping school, but this is not true at all. 

I have always enjoyed school for as long as I can remember. I was also quite obsessive about school to the extent that I wouldn't miss a day of school. I wouldn't go on holiday and the only time I would ever take a day off is when I was really ill, but even then I would sometimes still go to school. I couldn't bare to take a day off in the fear I may miss something really important. My uniform was always correct and I would do and still do every single piece of work set, revision and extra study. Never in all my time at secondary school did I get a detention either, as I ensured I did every piece of work and behaved in class. Of course, I was teased quite a bit in school because of what I was like, but now I'm older it doesn't really bother me as I got the grades I deserved because of my attitude towards education. These grades are more important than ever bowing down to any peer pressure. So, now you can see why having a year off school (on and off) is not typical of me.


From around the age of 8, I began to have slight problems with school, however I would still go to school everyday and be just as dedicated. These problems I faced with school reduced quite a bit until I turned 17, almost 10 years later. 

One day I was walking to school and I got to the sixth form where I began to have a panic attack. I explained that I had to leave and walked home. From that day in January, I have never gone back to way I used be. From that day forward I became increasingly anxious towards school and had more negative thoughts in connection with school too. I felt like the world around me was falling apart. I knew that other areas of my life were being affected by anxiety and now it was affecting my education too. It just happened overnight. 

In January 2013 I had a breakdown and I couldn't face school at all. I had a mental block. The best way I can explain a mental block is through the following example: You're on top the empire state building. You have been ordered to jump off the building with no safety equipment and you know that you will die if you do so. The feeling you get when someone is trying to push you forward and you are resisting; that fear of your body screaming 'NO' is the fear I get every single day. The mental block makes it very hard mentally and physically to get out of the door.This mental block can also come and go throughout the school term, especially when I'm trying to get to school after a break. 

From that day in January, I have now been to school and on and off. I have had work sent home, teachers talking to me and phoning me, numerous sessions of counselling and CBT, medication and methods of coping. I have also been given leeway as to being allowed to arrive to school later, separate rooms for my exams and being able leave if I need to. This has helped me a lot! 

So, what exactly happens? Every day of school, I often have a bad nights sleep. This often means restless or little sleep. I wake up with absolute dread, fear, exhaustion and lack of motivation. I feel really ill; like I'm going to be sick. I feel tired and fed up. Before I go to school, I often begin to breathe rapidly, my heart is racing and adrenaline is rushing. This is typical of the flight or fight system and is where the problem lies. Firstly, this makes you very tired and second of all, these feelings of being ill makes you believe you are ill and so you feel you can't leave the house. My legs are heavy and I feel as if there is a brick wall in front of me. My Mum will try absolutely everything to get me out of the door, from persuasion to reassurance. Once I'm in the car, I will often put up quite a fight to not get out of the car due to the fear being so massive. I will say and do anything to get out of the situation. The majority of days I will just sit outside of the school gates as the power of my anxiety is too overwhelming to do otherwise. However, there are days when I will be able to understand my anxiety and get to school. Once I'm in the school gates, the feeling of sickness and panic will be with me for at least half an hour until it begins to reduce and my symptoms begin to subside. However, these can come back throughout the day. I'm sure you can imagine how depressing and hellish this would be; feeling ill, exhausted, not looking forward to going to school, people being disappointed, people being stressed and missing out on memories.

The thing with anxiety is that you might as well be in prison. You spend days on end inside a house going through torture through your own head. The worst bit is that you haven't done anything wrong. You look out of your window, and you see people going to school and you're stuck in the house. You can't even get an education or do what you love.

"You know this fear is irrational, right?" I know full well that school is just a building with amazing and supportive people inside, but for some reason my body will just go into a complete irrational state. It's so hard to explain. If I could leave the house, I would. But again it is the irrational fear. Firstly, it's the worry that I am going to be ill and secondly I can also have a mental block as mentioned above. It so frustrating as it can be so debilitating to the extent that you cannot walk towards the door. 

I know from the outside, it seems completely stupid but it is something I have to battle and is very real. I continue to work extremely hard outside of school to maintain my grades. You have to show people that you can still accomplish what you want in life.

Best Wishes and keep fighting!

Diary of Anxiety

This isn't usually the type of post that I would write, but I'm hoping it will still be beneficial. There are so many people out there that don't understand anxiety and it's true to say, it will never be completely understood unless you have experienced it yourself. I hope that for the sufferers of the condition you will be able to relate to this somehow and for others, I'm hoping you understand how hard it can be for some people.

A diary of anxiety

Different aspects of your life will be affected depending on what type of anxiety you have and how severe it is. For those who suffer with severe anxiety, life can be a living hell and it is with you 24/7. 

Sometimes it will be present in your sleep. Your body will be preparing for the day ahead with the flight or fight response. This means one of two things; either interrupted sleep, or feeling tired when waking up. From the moment you wake, anxiety takes action with adrenaline rushing through your veins. You wake up everyday feeling ill because your body has heightened anxiety due to the daily tasks you have to complete, such as going to school or catching public transport. 

You've put up with this anxiety for a long time now and it's tiring. You feel ill when you wake, so you don't feel like doing much. You don't feel like putting makeup on or putting more effort into the way you dress. You can only eat little, because your anxiety is just too bad and you're always exhausted. You just want to stay in a safe place, where you can be calm for a while. For many people; this is home. 

Your anxiety is so crippling and disabling that it stops you from doing anything that you love. You get heightened anxiety any time you try to attempt to do something, which often ends in a panic attack or avoidance. As a result, you end up staying at home; again. Everything in your life is constant battle with your brain. You struggle and often avoid school, public transport, driving lessons, getting a job, joining a club and speaking in front of class. 
You try with every inch of your body and all of your might, to complete a simple task as to catch a bus, but it often results in hours of emotional and physical pain and angst about the thought. 

You're always told not to compare yourself to others but sometimes you can't help but notice the people around you. When you see other people your age with jobs, going to school without a second thought and driving, you can't help but feel a little bit hopeless.

It's all well and good saying that you are in control of your destiny, but when it seems you have a great brick wall in front of your every step, your legs are heavy and you feel like you're wading through thick mud, it's extremely hard to believe. But then you wake up one morning feeling okay and this is a very rare occasion but you're feeling good. You manage to overcome some of your fears and at the end of the day you feel ecstatic. You know that this is a taste of what life should be and could be like. You feel as if you've crawled out of this deep dark hole and seen the light. You know recovery isn't going to be easy, but it's the good days you've got to hold on to. You know that even if the crippling anxiety comes back the next day, you've experienced some sort relief.

Do people really understand?

As mentioned in previous posts, some people may not understand and this is why there is stigma, discrimination and bullying.

The problem is you will only know what it feels like if you experience it. However there are some great people out there such as your therapists, friends and family who will all try their best to understand and support you. You could have all of the information in the world on the topic, but still not fully understand it.

The best thing you can do to help a person understand is to try and explain it to them simply. You could use the flight or fight system as a short example. Of course, they may still find this weird...after all, panicking about getting into a car may seem strange to another person. The way my mum explained it to my teachers is likening it to a phobia. When I had severe problems with getting into school, my mum explained that it's like having a phobia of spiders. You're scared of them, but you don't know why.

The many people who support you and love you will try their best to understand and even if they don't, they will still continue to support you. As you've read in the last post, there are a few family members and friends that don't understand and have said that to me, but are still ever so kind. But there are people that won't understand and may be quite ignorant about it and that is their problem. Until they've experienced it themselves, they will never know. They may make sweeping statements or get angry - just ignore it and try to explain to them if they're willing. Not everybody is going to understand your situation, just like not every person understands every single maths problem.

Remember that you need support throughout your recovery, not people who don't care and this is where you have to be a little bit selfish. Keep going!

What should I do when someone is experiencing a panic attack?

It's all well and good having information of the condition, but what happens if you are faced with someone having a panic attack?

1. Preference - As mentioned in a previous post, it's a person's personal preference as to what they want when experiencing a panic attack. It may be useful to bring it up in conversation as to what the person prefers when they are experiencing a panic attack.

2. Diaphragm - The best technique that I can advise, is to breathe. When someone is having a panic attack give them the ability to breathe. By that I mean, show them how to breathe. There's a technique known as diaphragm breathing. You must breathe in for four seconds, hold for two, and breathe out for six. Get the person who is experiencing the panic attack to copy you.

3. Reassurance - When someone is experiencing a panic attack, some can feel the extremes such as the feeling that they are going to faint/die because of the lack of breathing and control. You need reassure the person that everything is okay and that they will be fine. This will help the person to calm down.

4. Do what they want! - When someone is having a panic attack, they can become disoriented, have feelings of sickness and be lightheaded. If they ask for something, such as a glass of water, try and go and get it for them. The person knows what they need to help them to resolve the situation.

5. Causes - Often there will be something that has triggered the panic attack, so the best thing to do is get them out of there if they haven't already done so themselves. For example, a panic attack may have occurred due to the person being in a crowded space so removing them to bigger space will help to calm their anxiety.

These are a mixture of tips from personal experience, professionals and others. I hope that these help. Remember to stay calm and that the person will get through the panic attack. There are loads of other tips on the internet, if you feel you need more. It's always best to be prepared!

What is my experience of panic attacks?

The first panic attack I ever had was on GCSE results day. I was so nervous. On the way to the venue where I would collect my results, I completely freaked out and couldn't breathe and started crying. I just assumed it was nerves and it passed as soon as I got into the venue.

As the months past, these panic attacks began to be a regular occurrence - before driving lessons, before my hypnotherapy sessions, catching transport, going into a shop, applying for jobs, asking for something and eventually going to school. I've had so many panic attacks when going to school, It's ridiculous.

Even though I have experienced loads of panic attacks, there are a few that I can remember really clearly. Despite the panic attack on results day, another one I can clearly remember is when I went to apply for jobs. Applying for jobs is hard enough with anxiety, let alone someone who severely suffers from it. It was going quite well in confidence terms. I was in the mall and I went into several shops, but had little luck - either they weren't taking on or I was too young. I managed to hand in some and applied to others online. I had been into so many shops and been rejected. Many anxiety sufferers will understand that this increases your anxiety. I went into one shop that surprize, surprize wasn't taking on and I stepped outside of the shop and started to panic. I couldn't breathe, then I was crying and slowly everything became a blur. Luckily I had support which could calm me down and helped me to breathe. 

I remember clearly, I was planning to go to a Rizzle Kicks concert, but just like all of the other opportunities, I often didn't go through with them and just stayed at home. I really didn't want to go. The thought of all of those people and the thought that I couldn't escape was overwhelming. Before I went out the door, I got into a panic. I couldn't breathe and was crying again. This time I really couldn't breathe at all, and it was so scary. However, with the help of the support around me, I managed to calm down and actually enjoyed myself.

A final example I can think of is when I was about to catch a bus with my friend. She was coming round to meet me, but the problem was that I hadn't told her about my situation. Again, I had the usual symptoms; couldn't breathe, was crying and generally tried to get myself out of the situation. I felt really ill. However, as soon as my friend came round, I managed to control myself. 

These panic attacks were getting out of hand and was making my anxiety worse. Therefore, it was decided that I was to see and hypnotherapist - it's not as scary as you think! With time, my panic attacks slowly decreased and I learnt to understand the feelings which helped me to be in control. 

I hope my experience of panic attacks can reassure you that you're not alone and that what you're feeling is only typical. With help, panic attacks can be solved.

What are panic attacks?

Definition of a panic attack: 'A sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.'

Panic attacks are part of the flight or fight system as I mentioned in a previous post titled 'What is Anxiety?'. Panic attacks arise due to the rush of adrenaline that you get due to the fight or flight system that we face in an fearful situation and we have this system due to our time as cavemen. When we were going to be attacked by a bear for example, we would have the choice to fight or run and this is what the adrenaline is for. It gives us an extra push to perform the actions we need to do to survive. However, for many anxiety sufferers this fight or flight system arises even when there is no danger at all. For example, you could be in a crowded place, or about to take part in a big event and you feel overwhelming anxiety. This situation you are in poses no threat, yet your body sends a rush of adrenaline. Many people may now be asking, 'well, what's the problem with that?' Often panic attack sufferers will end up not being able to breathe, feeling sick, light headed, crying, and eventually really tired due to the exhaustion. For many panic attack sufferers, their senses highten and for others they become quite confused. As with anxiety in general, each symptom depends on the person. Panic attacks drain all of your energy and can make sufferers feel quite ill. This sickness feeling comes from the digestive system slowing down due to the adrenaline. 

Panic attacks can last for a few minutes to many hours. They can also be on and off. 

Panic attacks tend to prevent some people from doing what they love as they are afraid that they will experience a panic attack whilst out and about and this again is very disabling for a person. The reason why people think this way is because the flight and fight system often repeats itself and forms a pattern in your reactions. For example, if you had a panic attack in a Mall, the next time you visit, it is highly likely that you will experience another one, even though there was no danger present at either time. 

As always, thanks for reading.